[ GRAVEYARD ]

[sheriffexe]

GRAVEYARD

So, you're dead. Shame, that. But on the other hand, it's actually kind of nice. When you "wake" in some odd version of it, you'll find yourself lying on a rather plush bed. It's cozy and warm and just soft enough to tempt anyone back into sleep. The room is equally nice, if small, and when you turn and open the curtains to look out the window, you will see... wait, is that the town? It is, actually. The town is laid out quite simply across the window and no matter how many times you may bang or wave through the window, no one seems to notice you. If you're smart enough to give up the venture and leave the small bedroom, you will notice that, of course, you are on the train. The train that, is actually pretty fancy. Moving through it, past the sleeping cabins and through to the main carts, you will find a dining car with fine dishware and meals of all kinds made at a push of a button or a request given to the air. They'll appear, freshly made and ready to eat at the table of your choice with any drink you could want. There truly doesn't seem to be any limits when it comes to the luxury of the meal. There is also a bathhouse car with private bathrooms and saunas to fit up to four. Even one rather large room containing a small pool/hot tub of sorts is available for just about anyone to take a dip. It's kind of outlandish, honestly. Then the lounge car, with its library and plush armchairs and couches. A pool table, a darts board, even a small area dedicated to painting. There's a bar too, fully stocked and ready for anyone who needs a drink. All it would require is a request from the bartender who... looks surprisingly familiar? The Sheriff is there, much cleaner cut than his counterpart outside of the train. He looks up mildly at any arrivals, giving them a nod of greeting before going back to organizing bottles or setting cigars out for a smoke. He doesn't seem to be surprised at all by anyone who appears. Just... ready to serve them, whatever they may wish. It all sort of seems okay for a moment, until you realize you're just here to wait for the game to end. Awkward.

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[robitussin]

[She shifts slightly, looking up at the ceiling of the train. Regardless, she notices the way Xion shifts as well, and she reaches out for her hand. It's protective and comforting, and she pauses for a few moments before speaking.]

What I told you before about not liking him... I might have been lying a little.

[She figures Xion will know what she means.]

[ceded]

[ Xion takes that reaching hand without hesitation, intertwining their fingers. When she'd arrived here, physical touch had been so foreign, so unusual, especially to comfort. No one had ever really ... hugged her, or held her hand, or anything like that at all. The Organization was not a touchy feely kind of place. Hugs, hands on her shoulders and her hair and between her shoulder blades, all of that had been so .... strange. Six weeks later, it all feels ... like this is the way it should have always been.

An immediate smile spreads across her face at what Natalie says, though she ducks her head, so it might not be visible at first. But then she nudges the other girl with her shoulder, and grins up with her. ]

I kinda thought so.

[ natalie that's cute ]

I hope he likes you too. [ A beat, and: ] He better. [ huff puff

she'll fight anyone who doesn't love her best friend, okay. ]

[robitussin]

[A smile of her own, even though she's going a little red?? Gross.]

I'm pretty sure he does.

[There are some things that are hard to misinterpret. Anyways. She nudges right back, her lips quirking into a larger grin.]

What, were you going to fight him if he didn't?

[ceded]

What? No! .......... maybe.

[ look

look. ]

You're, like ... the best person ever! How could anyone not like you? I'd at least smack him.

[ HUFF PUFF ]

[robitussin]

[A long, long pause.]

You know I was kidding, right?

[ceded]

I'm just saying.

[ Sort of mulish and pouty. ]

[robitussin]

[Gently flicks her on the forehead, honestly.]

You don't have to worry about it, anyways.

[ceded]

[ Leans her head back, scrunching up her expression. But it blanks out into curiosity and she tilts her head. ]

I don't? ... does that mean...?

[ somewhat. hopeful tone. ]

[robitussin]

[ah here comes her old friend, Fear Of Emotional Vulnerability]

Why are you looking at me like that?

[ceded]

Um...!

[ god. she's not good at this shit either. she can surmise some things, but she worries about overstepping her bounds and making stupid leaps of logic. ]

... do you know for sure that he likes you too?

[ why else. would she. not have to worry about it ]

[robitussin]

[A pause, and then a nod.]

I'm... pretty sure, yeah.

[Somehow.]

[ceded]

That's great!

[ she sounds relieved. whether for natalie's sake or for knowing she doesn't have to beat up jason todd is a tossup ]

I'm ... really glad.

[ with a little smile. though ... her expression turns somewhat more wistful and she glances away. ]

... we'll get everyone here. We'll all go home. I ... really want to believe in that.

[ her voice and her face are complicated things here. bittersweet determination might be the best possible description. ]

[robitussin]

Yeah, we will. There's no way everyone there won't figure it out. They're too smart.

[She rubs slow circles on the back of Xion's palm with her hand (which she now has two of shut up I knew that) in an attempt to be comforting.]

You're a good kid, you know that?

[ceded]

[ ... !

Xion will blink up at her, not ... really sure what to make of that. She will go a bit pink, flustered, before kinda ... looking away, leaning her head on Natalie's shoulder as she does so. ]

I...

[ ... ]

I think all I ever wanted was to be with my friends. I don't really know if that makes me "good" or not.

[robitussin]

[She shakes her head.]

It's not what you want that makes you good or bad, I think. It's what you do, and... You did so much to protect everyone. I'm proud of you, you know?

[Then, she sombers.]

...I'm sorry that it came to this, though.

[ceded]

[ ...

She doesn't voice her doubts. Whatever could be said of her efforts, she did work hard, and she feels sure Natalie worked harder. She doesn't have it in her to bring all of that up now and make Natalie have to comfort her. The mere idea feels selfish beyond belief. ]

There's nothing you have to be sorry for. [ Gives her hand a squeeze. ] The only people to blame are really ... the Sheriff's employers, whoever they are. We never did find out, did we?

[robitussin]

[She hesitates for a long moment, but... No, she respects Xion too much to hide this from her.]

Do you want me to tell you?

[ceded]

[ Lifts her head and ... stares at Natalie for a long moment.

Then she bursts out laughing. It's not ... a happy sound, but not a miserable sound either. Mostly she just sounds exhausted in the kind of way that no amount of sleep could ever fix.

Of course Natalie knows the answer. Of course there is an answer. It's probably a stupid answer. ]

Does it even matter? [ is her quiet question in return, soft and sad and, in the end, embittered to her core. ]

[robitussin]

[She just kind of leans into her as she listens, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.]

No, it doesn't.

[It does.]

[ceded]

I've been having nightmares this whole game, [ she says, out of nowhere. She's not even sure where the words came from. Natalie wraps an arm around her and it's like she can't hold it back.

To be honest, this may be something Natalie already knows. Xion had a tendency to wake up gasping when she tried to sleep. It was one of the reasons she slept so little, in the final weeks. ]

I'd see heads everywhere. Yours, Jason's, Percy's, Jason's ... and of course Riku's. Everyone I cared about. But now, since I've gotten on the train, my nightmares are of how I died.

[ There's a shiver to all her words. ]

It's all their fault. The people who started this, and I don't even know who they are. And to be honest, I ... I don't think I even care.

[ It's weird to say. She spent so long dwelling on that answer. ]

You know what I really care about? Getting out of here with you guys and never looking back.

[robitussin]

[As Xion continues on, she rubs small circles in her back, a gesture meant to bring comfort and reassurance. She doesn't interrupt, doesn't say anything at all until she's certain the other girl is done.

While she doesn't know what to say, exactly, so she borrows words that have been helping her along for the past few days, with a silent thank you to Percy.]

Think of everything you want to do when we get there. Dream about it. It'll keep us going until the end.

i do not know why i said jason's twice, i guess i can't type

[ceded]

[ Those words sound familiar, in a way, and they make her look at Natalie with an inscrutable expression on her face.

Something in her chest goes a little tight, and she tries very hard to ignore it. ]

... I don't really know what you can do in a big city. [ she smiles, gentle. ] But I'm looking forward more than anything to finding out. This is ... the first time I won't have to hide away from people and keep them from seeing me. It'll be like ... being normal.

[ Xion tilts her head as she looks away again, her contemplative gaze settling on the floor. ]

I always wanted to ask you about what your world was like. And now I can tell you all about mine, too.

pats

[robitussin]

["It'll be like being normal". That is all she has wanted since she was young, though her circumstances are far different from Xion's. Of course, she holds no illusions about how normal any of them will be after this. She knows she has woken from nightmares to clamp her hand over her mouth, holding back a scream multiple times in the past few weeks. After all that has happened in the past few days, she imagines that will worsen. Even so, she remembers—

We may just have a brand new happy home today... But what the hell do happy families do?

When she thinks about the fact that she might be able to find out after all this is over, her chest feels tight as well. New city. New life. Not necessarily a new her, but a version of herself she's never known, one that's surrounded by people who care about her.

Pretty cool, she thinks.]

I'll tell you everything you want to know, but honestly, I'm more curious about what your place was like.

[ceded]

[ Xion has never even really had a life of her own. The prospect of it is dizzying enough that actually thinking about it is sort of scary. What does it mean, to simply make your own choices? She'd learned a little of that here, but they'd still been working within the confines of the game. In a way, she'd still had a mission, though a much more ill-defined one: win the game. It was a goal to work towards, something to pour her time and effort into.

What is a life without specific goals? Or rather ... what is a life with goals you yourself create? It feels impossible. She worries, quietly, that she'll have to rely on the others too much to figure it out.

When Natalie says she wants to know, it's actually sort of a relief. Maybe if she can explain, then ... then it'll -- it'll at least make sense when she understands nothing about how the world is supposed to work.

Xion will shift a little, one of her hands curling and uncurling in her lap, a nervous gesture. ]

... small. My world was called ... The World That Never Was.

[ ... cheery! ]

I lived there all my life, though it's not where I was created. That's where the Organization was. Organization XIII... [ Xion will stare up and away, thoughtful. ] They're the people who made me. I worked for them as long as I was alive, until I decided to run away for good. The World That Never Was ... it was dark, all the time. There wasn't any sun in the sky, and it was never day there. Just a moon. And the city around our castle was full of monsters.

[ ... ]

It wasn't normal, [ she murmurs softly. ] Though, I never knew that until I started talking to people here, and their worlds were so much bigger and so different.

[robitussin]

[Holy shit, is the first thought that runs through her head.

She would never have considered her life before this normal. It's what she's wanted and craved, yes, but never attained. Every day she spends here, though, she's beginning to realize that her frame of reference for "normal" is so far removed from the places other people have come from. Really, this conversation only reinforces that, but her heart twists in - not pity, but sympathy.

While she'll never understand, she thinks, the kind of loneliness Xion must have faced, she knows how a lesser degree of that same emotion has shaped her own life. And... A place that's always dark, a place full of monsters. Suddenly, everything about this girl starts to make sense, and it's heartbreaking.

She knows, however, that it's unwise to let too much of that slowly mounting horror and concern show on her face. The last thing she wants is for Xion to be concerned about how she'll feel, hearing this news. That's why, before anything else, she starts with:]

...I'm glad you trusted me enough to tell me.

[Genuine and soft. But... God, it's so hard to know what to say to everything else she's brought forward, whether to reassure her that where they're going will be nothing like that or to let her get everything out.

In the end, there's a warmth in her chest at the thought that she's trusted enough to hear about something like this, so... Maybe it will be good for her to speak about it. There is, of course, a measure of hesitation in her voice; she doesn't want to push too hard for fear she'll make her uncomfortable.]

What did they make you for?