So, you're dead. Shame, that.
But on the other hand, it's actually kind of nice.
When you "wake" in some odd version of it, you'll find yourself lying on a rather plush bed. It's cozy and warm and just soft enough to tempt anyone back into sleep. The room is equally nice, if small, and when you turn and open the curtains to look out the window, you will see... wait, is that the town?
It is, actually. The town is laid out quite simply across the window and no matter how many times you may bang or wave through the window, no one seems to notice you. If you're smart enough to give up the venture and leave the small bedroom, you will notice that, of course, you are on the train.
The train that, is actually pretty fancy.
Moving through it, past the sleeping cabins and through to the main carts, you will find a dining car with fine dishware and meals of all kinds made at a push of a button or a request given to the air. They'll appear, freshly made and ready to eat at the table of your choice with any drink you could want. There truly doesn't seem to be any limits when it comes to the luxury of the meal.
There is also a bathhouse car with private bathrooms and saunas to fit up to four. Even one rather large room containing a small pool/hot tub of sorts is available for just about anyone to take a dip. It's kind of outlandish, honestly.
Then the lounge car, with its library and plush armchairs and couches. A pool table, a darts board, even a small area dedicated to painting. There's a bar too, fully stocked and ready for anyone who needs a drink. All it would require is a request from the bartender who... looks surprisingly familiar?
The Sheriff is there, much cleaner cut than his counterpart outside of the train. He looks up mildly at any arrivals, giving them a nod of greeting before going back to organizing bottles or setting cigars out for a smoke. He doesn't seem to be surprised at all by anyone who appears. Just... ready to serve them, whatever they may wish.
It all sort of seems okay for a moment, until you realize you're just here to wait for the game to end. Awkward. |
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sheriffexe) wrote2017-01-13 11:14 am
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Xion is right, though, about one thing in particular in this situation: when she is upset, her thoughts typically come spilling out, just as they're about to do now.]
Do you hate me?
[It reminds her, for a moment, of that evening in the saloon. Why haven't either of you left yet? Back then, she had thought that things could not get any worse. What a foolish thing to think, she realizes now.
Still, after a moment of reflection, she realizes the unfairness of that question. Of course Xion doesn't hate her. Though she doesn't understand why anyone here seems to not be repulsed by her bloodstained hands, she does not want to do her the disgrace of doubting her caring after all this time. She breathes in, she breathes out.]
...I know you don't. Sorry.
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Perversely, she wishes Jason were here, as awful as that is to think. But he'd know what to say.
He's not, though. It's just her.
Eventually, she shakes her head. ]
... I know I never told you, but there was a time when I decided to really play this game. [ Tilts her head, her expression ... subdued. ] Eventually I decided I'd kill someone, if I had to, to win.
[ ... though it may have been implied through actions or words elsewhere, she's never actually admitted that out loud. She'd told Shinnosuke once that she wasn't sure if she could; sometime in week 5 was when she decided she would. ]
I never got the chance. [ A laugh, hollow. ] No one picked me as executioner, and I never got chosen as a Bandit. Besides, after Felix died, I realized I was just kidding myself, anyway.
[ ... ]
But this game ... it twisted all of us, didn't it? If you'd asked me at the very start if I'd kill someone, even just out of self-defense ... I would have been so horrified. [ her voice goes a touch soft. ] And look what happened. All of us, we ... we were given a game we couldn't really win, could we?
[ There's a difference, she's come to realize, between winning in the practical sense and winning in a figurative way. And when it came to all their morals, their feelings, their souls, they were all always going to lose. ]
I think ... I was always just scared for you. [ This admission she makes without looking at her friend, instead staring ahead of them. ] Scared that something would happen to you. Maybe ... scared that you'd be put in a bad position...?
[ She thinks of a night in the saloon, finding two people soaking wet, and the things she'd ended up learning. ]
Do you know how I know you're a good person, Natalie? [ Finally glances back at her out of the corner of her eye with a barely-there smile. ] Someone told you I wanted to die, and you tried to stop me. You didn't even know me, and you wanted to save me.
[ ... ]
No one had ever done something like that for me before, [ she murmurs with small wonder. ] I thought ... that you must be a really special person, if you cared so much about someone who was basically a stranger.
[ A pause, and: ]
There's no way I could ever hate such an amazing person.
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[There is logic, she knows, in what Xion says. She's seen people who she knows are better than her kill others. That doesn't prepare her for the shock of hearing Xion say she would be willing to do it as well. It's not a surprise that comes with any kind of sting; she could never blame her for that, even before she chose the same path. Any pain she feels upon hearing it is due to the fact that someone so kind, so pure had to be put in this kind of situation.
Instead, there's a warmth upon hearing it. You didn't even know me, and you wanted to save me. No one had ever done something like that for me before. She wishes, more than anything, that she had succeeded. She wanted Xion to survive this sick game.
She supposed that, though, doesn't matter any longer. In the best case scenario, none of them will survive this, she realizes once more with painful clarity. The thought cuts deep inside her, and the words continue to spill out.]
I thought - I thought if I didn't do anything, if I didn't stop him, he would hurt Jason or Percy or you or Milla. But... I guess it was useless in the end, wasn't it?
[Each and every one of them has to get on this train. Just the thought of it is nauseating. When she thinks about how she felt when Will raised the knife, the way the steel felt against her skin, and the raw, animal panic and desperation that had coursed through her... Suddenly, she can't stop the water that pools in her eyes. None of them deserve that feeling, and she'd fought so hard to prevent it.]
I don't want him to die.
[Who she means by 'him' may be obvious, but either way, the fairly simple statement is made richer by the raw emotion that floods into her voice. She remembers him holding her hand, tapping out endless messages of comfort, sitting next to each other in church pews and...
Her eyes slide closed. She can't think about this any longer.]
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[ Xion will lean against her, tilting her head and sighing at nothing, at the whole entire world. ]
Was it useless? I'm really ... not sure. I'm not sure what we could have done differently, but ... I know for sure that no matter what, I would have given everything to save everyone. I know you feel the same way, Natalie. So even if we didn't know, we still did our best, didn't we?
[ It's hard to say, because she feels her own uselessness weigh heavy on her shoulders. Everything she tried so hard to do, secrets and lies and plans she was never very good at; in the end, all her reckless abandon had done was gotten her killed. But part of her thinks that... the fact that they all struggled so hard for each other...
that has to mean something, doesn't it?
Natalie will get a slow and careful hug for that last line. Yes, she knows who she means. ]
I know. [ A whisper. It's occurred to her to think how she might feel if she'd lived if Shinnosuke had died - or vice versa. Either way, the proposition is sort of a horrifying one, one she's perversely glad she never had to try and live through. ]
He'll fight till the very end, Natalie. And then...
[ ... ]
We'll get to see him again, and tell him how much we love him. Think about that, okay?
[ She's had it said enough to her: think of the future. think of what you want. focus on that. It helped calm her down. Maybe it'll help Natalie, too. ]