okay so between Noct's outfit and name Shinnosuke found him hilariously edgy, never mind that between the two of them, Shinnosuke is the true edgelord BUT WHATEVER
In any case, it was pretty obvious at the beginning that Noct thought he was an annoying shit, which meant that Shinnosuke liked him (I use the word "like" veeeeeery liberally there). Everyone should think he's an annoying shit! Noct was being normal by viewing him in a way that was within his expectations, making his company tolerable. Shinnosuke sassed him, Noct sassed him back, and all was good.
Noct also was useful during trials and kept Ash in line, so, you know. Good job.
And then Noct turned out to be a Bounty. Whatever, he kept complaining about what a pain Shinnosuke was the entire time, so it was all still cool.
......... And then he came to check up on him before the meeting and gave him cup noodles and that was where things got really weird, as far as Shinnosuke was concerned??? Like, why. Why is he doing this. At most, Noct was just supposed to fetch him when it was time, if that at all (NO ONE WOULD MISS SHINNOSUKE IF HE WEREN'T THERE, PROBABLY...).
That was when Shinnosuke started to suspect that Noct was actually... mildly invested in his existence/well-being/what have you... AND THAT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN, that was now outside of his expectations, etc. Noct thus got thrown into the awkward pool of People Who Care About Shinnosuke (Why???), even if he was the sassiest of them and the least pushy in explicit TEAMWORK AND FRIENDSHIP!!
In a way, that was nice, because then Shinnosuke could sort of pretend that Noct purely saw him as a pain in the ass, as before. On the other hand, in other ways, that made it even more awkward because whenever Shinnosuke stopped living in denial and remembered that oh damn, Noct gives a shit... Shinnosuke was kind of getting used to the openly friendship-y types, which Noct wasn't, so?? How to deal with Noct???? Maybe if he snarks at Noct enough, Noct will revert back to his initial impressions. That's how it works, right!? (No.)
And then Shinnosuke died and thus he was free.
Except then Noct sent him a letter, which was just "mmmm can't compute," and then Noct died and wouldn't let Shinnosuke avoid him, which was also just "mmmm can't compute," and then Noct wouldn't let him avoid him in their endgame thread either, and now it's just "mmmm can probably compute but don't want to."
SORRY NOCT, FEELINGS ARE AWKWARD
but you know Shinnosuke still has that letter on him so
tbh most of Shinnosuke's feelings on Barnham are just "eh"
Before the whole MURDER thing, Barnham was just a funny justice man. He was stiff, making him easy to tease, and he seemed morally upright, which meant that he could be a great sort of very depressing entertainment as this place eventually broke him, as Shinnosuke figured it would—he's been in enough murdergame-esque situations and seen enough good people in them to know that it ends in two ways: death or a downward spiral (or both).
(AND HE TURNED OUT TO BE RIGHT, SO. YEAH.)
It got weird whenever Barnham seemed to, like, actually worry about Shinnosuke's well-being (and I mean I summed up Shinnosuke's feelings on that pretty well—). Frankly, he was one of the few that openly addressed whether or not Shinnosuke was actually okay, let alone that early on—because yeah, uh, Shinnosuke was not always okay (case in point, week 3: YEAH I'M FINE WHATEVER /promptly forms plan to break into a building with Jason out of frustration STILL FINE).
Which automatically meant NOPE NEVER DISCUSSING FEELINGS WITH BARNHAM. Not that Shinnosuke ever intends on discussing feelings with anyone, but the fact that Barnham actually expressed concern put him squarely in NOPE territory anyway. Get your emotions away from him???
BUT YEAH AND THEN BARNHAM MURDERED HIM.
Shinnosuke learned very promptly about the caveat from Sara, and then deduced from that that Barnham killed him and then got it confirmed by Hal, so. Instinctively, he's kind of salty, because, well. Barnham murdered him, and he didn't even have the dignity to even identify himself.
In the long run, though, he's really just eh. He knows why Barnham did it, he's been surrounded by too much death and betrayal to actively hold ill will against something that impersonal, and he can even give Barnham kudos for being ruthless and pragmatic, because the ruthless and pragmatic part of Shinnosuke approves.
(He does still kind of think the "not talking" thing, when you think about it, is stupid—either he was going to die and learn from Xion that Barnham was a killer anyway, or he was going to survive and tell everyone, which would make Barnham the worst killer ever for failing to kill a blind dude when he had every single advantage and in that case tbh you deserve to be doxxed for being such a failure.)
But overall it's really just "okay so he's a guy who likes justice and eventually decided to be an idiot and kill everyone for their own good without telling anyone," and he's seen enough stories like that to just feel "whatever" about it. He doesn't hold a grudge, but he also has no real sympathy for Barnham either. You made your choices (just as he chose not to die so easily), so suck it up.
Okay, so Natalie was an awful teen, which meant that Shinnosuke automatically liked her, or his brand of like, anyway. Her being a snarky jerk meant that he was free to be one back (not that he never needs permission, but you know), and especially as bounty family happened—well, he wasn't entirely kidding when he said she was his "favourite" for never getting all friendship-y on him.
In that vein, he kind of recognized Natalie as being similar to him, in that they're both assholes who care but don't want to admit it, although Natalie is thankfully not as much of a dick as he is. She was also the only one who actually called him out on his self-deprecating tendencies, which pretty much cemented, for him, that she probably wasn't too different. It was a kind of a relief, since to him, it meant that he and Natalie could just snark at each other and he'd never have to worry about it getting emotional or mushy. She had other people for that, and he didn't have to worry that somehow, he'd end up on that list.
(Ironically, he was the one who ultimately sort of confided in her, while on the train—she was the first whom he'd explained at length what was going on back home, because at that point, he did want to tell someone as he didn't feel like he had anything left to lose.)
Enduring what she went through in the underground tunnels earned her some of his respect! He comes from an environment where he's used to people going mad or giving up from lesser things. So, knowing that Natalie probably didn't come from a violent background (at the very least, she couldn't throw a proper punch.....), thus likely wasn't exposed to those kinds of horrors regularly, and yet still held herself together was a testament as to her strength. That she was able to deal with his interrogation of sorts (even if she understandably got huffy at him at first) was a bonus too, and he appreciated that she did answer his questions. It told him that she was someone who could put aside emotions in favour of logic, and that's always something he can get behind. And again, her being kind of a jerk herself meant that he wasn't too concerned about pushing her—he didn't feel that she was that fragile.
It was why he then told her what Hal told him, re: his employers and whatnot. While he didn't feel super guilty, he realized that he was kind of mean in forcing that info out of her, so passing on the info from Hal was him trying to pay it back.
She also went and killed Hannibal, which was also "well, kudos to you for going through with it." Sorry that it got you brutally murdered afterwards, Natalie! But really, he knows that killing someone isn't always easy, let alone someone you might've cared about, so that she did it to help everyone else even knowing that she would die from it—that's something he respects as well. Hopefully, Percy and the others will be able to play therapist after the game.
JASON... god, Jason was really frustrating for Shinnosuke from the beginning, on the basis of the fact that Shinnosuke liked him and couldn't figure out why. Even the part of Shinnosuke that acknowledges that he's a huge tsun was confused, because it wasn't like Jason was the usual friendship-y time that gets under his skin???? WHY DOES HE LIKE THIS LOSER.
Ultimately, it has a lot to do with what they have in common, which is being a dumb teen. In a way, Jason brought out a sense of normalcy from Shinnosuke. He didn't make Shinnosuke feel overly awkward (except for those moments where he worried about him, ewww), but he also wasn't quite trollbait/someone who disliked Shinnosuke from the start. Shinnosuke could just snark with him as a teenage boy, and there was a weird sense of camaraderie there that Shinnosuke didn't get, because the entire concept of being a normal teenager is so foreign to him at this point.
For a given definition of "normal", anyway, given that normal teens don't go around breaking into post offices??? Shinnosuke approached Jason with the idea mainly because of Jason's adventures with the clinic, tbh. He figured he had a good enough read on Jason's personality to assume that, like him, Jason was frustrated and would be willing to use that frustration for something potentially stupid. And hey, he was right!
Though he also had a general sense of respect for Jason, to a degree—Jason held himself well enough during trials and the like and didn't appear to be fragile, so Shinnosuke also figured that he was reliable in general. (He also thought that Jason was competent enough to potentially have a role and be hiding it, even if he turned out to be wrong...)
... He did feel pretty bad, though, since Jason ended up losing his tongue and shooting someone that was probably important to him (even if Shinnosuke avoided the latter topic because he too did not want to talk about... that...). He blames himself for that, though again, he chose never to talk about it because he defined his and Jason's relationship as one where they just sassed at each other and whatnot, so he wasn't going to make things awkward with feelings.
Except, you know, Jason then expressed actual feelings like concern. Stop!?!?!
It's also for the best that Shinnosuke has no idea that Jason threw a bit of a hissy fit at Noct over the idea of replacing him with Barnham, because oh god what you weren't supposed to care, Jason—
Anyway yes it's easier to pretend that Jason lacks any sort of emotion towards him because then he, too, can pretend that he has none.
Even if doing dumb things with Jason at bounty meetings like their breakup was some of the most fun Shinnosuke's had in Whole Ass and a good chunk of his entire life tbh, and the notion of "fun" is also one that's very bizarre to him, so.
Okay, so unsurprisingly, Shinnosuke's first impression of Milla was basically ~shounen goody-two-shoes~, though it didn't take long for him to amend that impression—to ~somewhat more mature than usual shounen goody-two-shoes~. Shinnosuke has an automatic disdain for people who talk about working with others, etc., even if Milla won some points by admitting that she didn't expect it to happen.
For the most part, he was waiting to see Milla's idealism break or for Milla to die, because that's generally what happens to people who try and act heroic. He wasn't necessarily looking forward to it, since Milla was a calm and competent presence at trials and they needed all the help they could get tbh, but he was cynical enough not to hope for anything else.
Eeeeexcept it never happened! There was no real moment where Shinnosuke realized that Milla wasn't going to break, just a gradual acceptance when every week he saw that Milla was as strong as ever. Again, he was glad if it meant Milla could keep working during trials, but a part of him was also admittedly envious—Milla was doing something he never could. He shut out all of his idealism so that he could cope and survive, and so while he didn't dwell on it, Milla was sometimes a slap in the face as a reminder of how weak he was at heart. If Milla could do it, then why was he unable to? And so on and so forth.
The Bounty reveal was when things started to change. Sorry not sorry for being difficult about it—Shinnosuke figured that she and Noct knew for sure from the Sheriff, meaning they had nothing to lose while he did if they were lying, so. Milla didn't come as a surprise, since he suspected that either she or Sara was the one woman among the Bounty group, and it was nice to be proven right.
... He hadn't expected her to get all friendly with him, though???? He'd expected business from the Bounty meetings, especially as someone only brought in because the Sheriff gave them his name, and instead he got friendship, which was Awkward. It didn't help that Milla didn't rise to his teasing, meaning that there was nothing he could do to push her away???
The timing, what with Yuna's death, didn't help. Milla had other friends, so he couldn't understand why she would seek him out, why she'd want to know how he was dealing with it, or why she'd want to try and understand him. His discomfort was made worse by the fact that she did seem to understand him—a creeping discomfort about her that'd been building for the last few weeks. Shinnosuke prefers being hard to read or outright misunderstood, so he doesn't know how to handle someone who actually knows how he thinks or feels.
AND THEN HE DIED AND WAS FREE but only for a couple of days. In a sense, she was one of the people he was counting on most, as he couldn't do anything anymore. By the end of that week's trial, among the people he had any kind of bond with and trusted (eww), she and Noct were just about the only ones whom he felt would pull through no matter what (as he was worried about Percy and Jason's emotional states). Not that any of it mattered in the end, but eh. He also really could've done without that letter!!! Especially since it was accurate, damn it.
He's still not entirely sure of what to think about her, especially since a lot of the traits that he respects/appreciates about her (her calmness and shamelessness, for starters) are also the ones that make him go AGGGH, NEED TO FLEE NOW when used against him. She also managed to surpass his initial expectations, so kudos to her.
Spoilers: Sei totally endeared herself to him very quickly.
HONESTLY she was a certain sort of shounen that Shinnosuke couldn't help but like, as much as he'd deny it to himself (except he really couldn't on Week 2 when he asked to kill her if she ever refused to be a Bandit, thanks for not refusing, Sei!!). And he knew it was stupid, because Sei was reckless and idealistic and all the things that would inevitably get her killed, and he was... unfortunately proven right...
Anyway. Until that point, Sei was his primary source of entertainment, because she rose to the bait beautifully each and every time (which sort of screwed him over because that was part of what endeared her to him, but). Awkwardly, he was also reminded each and every time that she didn't really hate him. Because of his role as Bounty, he died inside every time she defended him??? STOP IT, SEI... even if she turned out to be completely right, since he never did kill anyone to the very end.
As is usually the case with shounen types, he was waiting for her to break, especially as it became clear that, for all of her efforts, some of it was pointless (e.g. alibi checking). That said, as much as he went ugggh, why am I doing this inside, he also wanted to delay it for as long as possible. If it weren't completely obvious by now, he was totally the one who approached Xion and fixed her relationship with Sei after their fight, since even if Xion and Sei's argument should've been "funny" and affirmed his beliefs, he didn't really want to see things be tense between the two of them. Despite the fact that honestly, he knew Sei wasn't going to make it to the end in one piece, he did want things to go as well as they could for her.
AND THEN SEI DISAPPEARED INTO THE MINES and Shinnosuke was torn between giving up on her to spare himself more pain and... not giving up on her—the latter won out, since tbh if Sei hadn't shown up on Friday, Shinnosuke would've gone looking for her that night. Because yeah, he cared... a lot... even if he had to cover it up by teasing the hell out of her even after that.
Her death came as a major blow, even though, again, he'd seen it coming since forever, and leave it to Sei to die for dumb reasons. It was one of those times where he just shut down and let himself focus on other things, but it was hard for him—Sei's death was the first one in this place of someone he genuinely cared about. He didn't know how to handle his grief—or how to juggle Xion's on top of it—and when Yuna tried to confront him about it, Shinnosuke resorted to pretending not to care and tried to convince himself that you know what, Sei probably hated him anyway, so whatever!! (He knew this was utter bullshit.)
... The fact that he went around carrying her swords afterwards, even if part of it was for pragmatic reasons (free weapon!!), also probably speaks for itself. Why'd you have to die, Sei. :(
It didn't help when he learned that Sei had been a Bandit. Honestly, he didn't judge her at all for it, because he gets it, whatever. It was realizing that she'd almost definitely been a Bandit during Week 4 and what that entailed, since that meant she'd chosen not to go after him when he was in the stocks. Another awkward acceptance that ah, right, Sei cared about him maybe...
SEI, WHY. WHY DID YOU HAVE TO [INSERT EVERY SINGLE THING SEI EVER DID].
But anyway, now that everything's done and they're going home, he's glad that she got her leg back, and he hopes that she can return to the people she loves and have a relatively happy (sort of) life.
He also still has no idea that she's a girl, oops.
(Fun fact: after realizing that Xion had a crush on him, he briefly tried to get Xion crushing on Sei instead.)
So that conversation with Higekiri while Higekiri was on death row was really the Conversation—up until then, Shinnosuke mostly thought of him as a mildly interesting guy (especially with the poster—the guy's 1000+, what), but not much aside from that. Higekiri was weird enough to not be annoyed with Shinnosuke but also wasn't easy to troll and push away, at the same time that he didn't seem to be getting all buddy-buddy with him either, so it was fine (barring the occasional awkward moment like Higekiri calling him out on not being as bad as he seemed).
But learning that Higekiri had done what he did for his brother (or more specifically, Ima but close enough)—yeah, as a fellow big brother, he empathized with that, however vague it was. He felt a bit of a connection there, but it should've been no big deal since Higekiri was going to die anyway and that would be the end of it (which is why he even admitted to having a sister to begin with; he's nicer if the person is about to die).
Eeeeeeexcept then Higekiri sent him letters from the dead and Shinnosuke had to go "mmmmm I don't think that was the end of it." Higekiri's letters were super awkward because he was being friendly and worst of all, other people had to read these for Shinnosuke??? And he had to explain why Higekiri seemed to like him????? Ugh.
And thus Higekiri became forever associated with awkwardness.
ASH........ okay, so Ash did try to, like, kill him on the first day here, which was an awkward start and immediately put Ash on the People to be Wary of list. Ironically, though, it also made him one of the less dangerous people, in that because he was so obviously crazy, Shinnosuke didn't have to worry about what he was hiding. Ash wasn't trying to get on anyone's good side, anyway??
Because Shinnosuke's a little shit, he was a lot more chill about Ash's general existence than some others were, which is why he never got on Ash's case during trials. Actually, it kind of helped—next to people like Ash, Shinnosuke looked perfectly innocent, which he was worried about. (THANK GOD ASH WASN'T A BOUNTY.) Really, as long as Ash never actually went after him or anyone he cared about, he was just sort of that funny robot who made a spectacle in during trials, trash-talked humans a lot, and killed the Sheriff's cat.
He had to start worrying about Ash more as they headed into endgame, and before they (besides Barnham) knew that EVERYONE HAD TO DIE. He and the other Bounties and co. were aiming for the solution where no one wanted to kill one another, which meant that after Hannibal and Will, Ash was a major concern. That said, Shinnosuke did feel that Ash could come around, because he recognized that Ash acted in self-interest, rather than 100% crazy, which meant that they could negotiate with them. It ended up not mattering at all, but he was hoping that Noct and the nonhuman squad could win him over.
i can't find the plurk where i originally threatened to make a collage out of you yelling at me for yuna being pure but i had those gagtags saved so i was Ready
Shinnosuke was quick to make a snap judgment on Yuna: dumb, altruistic idealist who was going to get herself manipulated and/or killed. And here, it's important to understand how Shinnosuke feels about those types in general. He's seen enough to know that it doesn't end well—people like those are just not meant to survive, because their kindness will do them in. And because they die, they don't achieve anything. Worst of all, because they were such good people and won over others' hearts, they leave behind the greatest void when they're gone.
Unfortunately, he's also self-aware to realize that that applies to him as well—people like Yuna charm him the most, and so it was all the more terrifying. He knew it wasn't going to end well, and he tried to justify it with WELL SHE KEEPS PEOPLE'S SPIRITS UP SO THERE'S PRAGMATIC INTEREST IN KEEPING HER IDEALISTIC, he really knew that at the end of the day, he cared about her, plain and simple. And that, well, he would come to regret it. Although he never quite realized it, for all that he spoke about others needing her, he might've the one who needed her the most, in the end.
So he tried to push her away, tried to be an asshole who would only troll her so that she'd see there was no reason to hang around him. He had some hopes after their first meeting after Yuna was smart enough to go "Iiiiii should leave" except... it didn't work after that... He came to realize that Yuna was infallibly optimistic and would not leave him alone for reasons he couldn't fathom, but he held onto his futile hope that maybe he could get her to hate him???? His only dream, crushed... but yeah, sadly Yuna wasn't as fragile as Xion (not that it even worked on Xion either) and deep down, Shinnosuke knew that he didn't really want to let go of Yuna.
Adding onto his reflexive STAY AWAY attitude was knowing that he was a Bounty—if Yuna refused to be a Bandit, then he would have to kill her (which was admittedly his fault, for making that request, but he really did not want Yuna to die painfully, so!!). His role also exacerbated his view of himself that he was a horrible person—even if ironically his role was why he never had to kill a single person in the game—and so he hated it every time Yuna tried to suggest he was actually a good guy. He couldn't bring himself to believe it, so she made him feel guilty as hell without even trying.
Being put in the stocks made him go SHIT for a number of reasons, one of which was knowing that Yuna was going to camp out there, damn it. Even though he knew he wasn't getting rid of her, he was honestly pretty scared that something would happen to her, and it would be his fault (thanks for not walking into Damian's trap, because he felt bad about not being able to warn her...). AND THEN SHE KEPT TALKING ABOUT FRIENDSHIP AGGGGGGH AND
okay the other thing to know is that at his current canon point, Shinnosuke is actually contemplating having a change of heart, which is why he asked Yuna what he did that night. A part of him genuinely wanted to try and understand her viewpoint, even as another part of him was going nooooo, that's dumb. And in spite of how much he trashtalks idealism, he's actually kind of envious, because he secretly admires being able to live with that kind of strength. He couldn't do it—he withdrew into his shell in part because he didn't want to be hurt.
But yeah, she kept talking about believing in him, and he started to break down thanks to the guilt from his role, because it reminded him how much he'd hate it if he was ever called to do his job. He'd hate disappointing Yuna by not being the person she thought he was. Perhaps worse, he knew that she wouldn't really be disappointed and that she'd still think well of him, and he didn't know how to feel about that. As someone with a very low opinion of himself, down to offhandedly believing that he doesn't even deserve to live, the amount of faith Yuna has in him is beyond his comprehension.
Still, at the end of it, Yuna might've been the first person here that he acknowledged as his friend.
... Not that this stopped him from going UGGGH WHY every time she hung around him, night of Sei's death included. For once, Shinnosuke contemplated the merits of friendship even if only for the memories, rather than evaluating friendship along the lines of, "Well, your friends inevitably die and that hurts, so better not to have any friends to begin with!!"
AND THEN
YUNA
DIED
Which... yeah, that hurt a lot. He knew it was coming since it was the first week, and heck, even in the recent Bounty meetings, they'd been discussing how the Sheriff wanted Yuna dead, so it was so obviously coming. So, he hated himself all the more for grieving, because if he expected it, then he shouldn't feel anything over it, right? The kind always die (and it was so, so unfair that someone like Yuna was dead but he was still alive), and that was why he didn't want to be kind.
Her death, in his mind, kind of invalidated everything she'd ever said, and he was sorely tempted to go back into his shell that she'd been coaxing him out of. His grief was a reminder of why he hadn't wanted friends to begin with, and now, there wasn't Yuna to tell him to hold onto his memories, that it was going to be okay.
(THAT BOOKMARK HURT, THOUGH. THANKS, YUNA.)
Thankfully, by that point, he had the other Bounties and co. to help ground him, up until he himself kicked the bucket. Being dead helped to tear down some of his walls, in that it was over for him, so this was when he had to evaluate how he'd done things, and whether or not they mattered. In the end, he concluded they hadn't—and he became all the more grateful for Yuna then, for being there for him.
And again, he felt that her idealism, the fact that she'd mattered to so many people while alive, etc. was worth something. In his eyes, she'd left a meaningful impact, even if it was one also filled with grief; meanwhile, what had he left behind? But he really did believe that Yuna had accomplished something, however abstract, and he didn't want her feeling otherwise.
Because honestly he just wants Yuna to be happy and confident and idealistic forever and oh god he has to go and vomit now, these feelings are gross and mushy what have you done to him
SO Percy and Shinnosuke's first convo set the tone for their relationship, or so far as Shinnosuke was concerned—because it was seeing how much he could talk about while playing it safe, and that Percy was probably ??? about him, which is how Shinnosuke prefers things.
And like that, for a while, things were "safe"—Percy's likely perception of him was one he was cool about. Percy seemed to see him as reasonably competent, so Shinnosuke knew that what he said would be taken seriously, was suspicious of him (which was good, because everyone should maintain a healthy dose of suspicion) but not outright suspecting Shinnosuke of anything, and didn't think he was ~secretly a nice guy~ or anything.
In turn, Shinnosuke saw Percy as someone who was helpful at trials—helpful to the point that he probably wasn't trying to manipulate the rest of them, as he was asking a few too many questions for that, which is why Shinnosuke chose to "trust" him that one time—and while a disgustingly good guy, Percy seemed capable of handling some level of douchiness from him.
And then yeah, things started to change with the Bounty meetings. By the time that Saturday of that week rolled along, Shinnosuke was at an emotional low, since out of the three people he cared about most in the game, two of them just died and one of them was now possibly the enemy. Knowing that Percy was one of the only people he could trust to any degree (especially after their conversation earlier, where Percy forced him to acknowledge that), he ended up breaking down a little in front of him—because as much as he hated it, Percy was dead-on with his perception of Shinnosuke.
He was lonely and tired of being a paranoid recluse, so yes, he really did want to trust the rest of the group, and he wouldn't have betrayed them. In some ways, Shinnosuke hated it: that Percy was extending his hand towards him. Percy read into a side of him that he prefers to pretend doesn't exist, and it scared him to have to acknowledge it. (At the same time, it made him more honest around Percy, since there was less of a point in hiding anything.)
He finally started accepting what Percy said.......... when he died, at which point he knew he would have to leave everything up to them. Also, to be honest, he figured Percy wouldn't really be sad since he thought Percy was still mad about the whole Xion thing because he's bad at this—it took receiving Percy's letter before he went "ah I guess he cared..."
But yeah, he believed in Percy in a way that he isn't used to; he doesn't normally do this whole faith thing, after all. In the rest of the group too (... sans maybe Jason, Jason seemed kind of unstable by then), but frankly, he could see how Percy drew others to him, and the fact that he could see that made him want to die a little (again).
Learning that Percy was the other Coal Miner was a bit of a blow (albeit somewhat to be expected, since he spoke with Rin and therefore knew it wasn't her), not because it would've made any practical difference had Percy confessed, but because pragmatically, Shinnosuke feels that he can't trust anyone unless he knows their full story (in the context of how he's allying with them). Not that it necessarily made Percy any less trustworthy, especially at that point, but it was a reminder of how he was foolish for not doubting.
(Though tbh, he'd first thought it was Percy who was going around killing people in the last week, not Damian, so......)
Overall, though, it all worked out, and because he's pragmatic, Shinnosuke can also entirely understand why you wouldn't admit that kind of thing, so whatever. It's all still a bit weird, since Shinnosuke doesn't... know what to do with this side of him that's developing, and he's honestly still a little confused on certain aspects. So really, he's kind of looking to Percy for guidance, so to speak, because this is half Percy's fault anyway, how to friendship.
RUSSELL WAS PRETTY WEIRD although when Shinnosuke thinks about it, he's probably seen a lot of people from similar backgrounds to Russell, so in the long run, it doesn't strike him as too odd that someone would act the way Russell does—though in the moment, it's kind of "huh" whenever Russell is super passive about things.
He did have some sympathy for him, partly based on his age. Not that he thinks 14-year-olds are necessarily innocent, but he wasn't really thrilled about the idea of voting one off, so he was kind of relieved when Russell dodged a bullet that one trial he admitted to drugging himself. You can drug yourself to sleep, child, but please don't admit that to other people??
Learning that he'd burned Annabeth to death didn't really change his opinion of Russell. People kill, kids kill, eh it happens. Given Russell's attitude, it made sense. Again, he's probably seen kids get broken down from their pasts and become killers, so he sort of realized Russell probably had the capacity for it. It didn't come as a surprise to him, especially since Annabeth's death wasn't a "wow what is wrong with the killer???" death.
He was a little surprised that Russell Really Wanted a Pizza Party, and he really could've done without being dragged to one? Damn it, Russell. Go find someone else to bother in the afterlife.......
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In any case, it was pretty obvious at the beginning that Noct thought he was an annoying shit, which meant that Shinnosuke liked him (I use the word "like" veeeeeery liberally there). Everyone should think he's an annoying shit! Noct was being normal by viewing him in a way that was within his expectations, making his company tolerable. Shinnosuke sassed him, Noct sassed him back, and all was good.
Noct also was useful during trials and kept Ash in line, so, you know. Good job.
And then Noct turned out to be a Bounty. Whatever, he kept complaining about what a pain Shinnosuke was the entire time, so it was all still cool.
......... And then he came to check up on him before the meeting and gave him cup noodles and that was where things got really weird, as far as Shinnosuke was concerned??? Like, why. Why is he doing this. At most, Noct was just supposed to fetch him when it was time, if that at all (NO ONE WOULD MISS SHINNOSUKE IF HE WEREN'T THERE, PROBABLY...).
That was when Shinnosuke started to suspect that Noct was actually... mildly invested in his existence/well-being/what have you... AND THAT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN, that was now outside of his expectations, etc. Noct thus got thrown into the awkward pool of People Who Care About Shinnosuke (Why???), even if he was the sassiest of them and the least pushy in explicit TEAMWORK AND FRIENDSHIP!!
In a way, that was nice, because then Shinnosuke could sort of pretend that Noct purely saw him as a pain in the ass, as before. On the other hand, in other ways, that made it even more awkward because whenever Shinnosuke stopped living in denial and remembered that oh damn, Noct gives a shit... Shinnosuke was kind of getting used to the openly friendship-y types, which Noct wasn't, so?? How to deal with Noct???? Maybe if he snarks at Noct enough, Noct will revert back to his initial impressions. That's how it works, right!? (No.)
And then Shinnosuke died and thus he was free.
Except then Noct sent him a letter, which was just "mmmm can't compute," and then Noct died and wouldn't let Shinnosuke avoid him, which was also just "mmmm can't compute," and then Noct wouldn't let him avoid him in their endgame thread either, and now it's just "mmmm can probably compute but don't want to."
SORRY NOCT, FEELINGS ARE AWKWARD
but you know Shinnosuke still has that letter on him so
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Before the whole MURDER thing, Barnham was just a funny justice man. He was stiff, making him easy to tease, and he seemed morally upright, which meant that he could be a great sort of very depressing entertainment as this place eventually broke him, as Shinnosuke figured it would—he's been in enough murdergame-esque situations and seen enough good people in them to know that it ends in two ways: death or a downward spiral (or both).
(AND HE TURNED OUT TO BE RIGHT, SO. YEAH.)
It got weird whenever Barnham seemed to, like, actually worry about Shinnosuke's well-being (and I mean I summed up Shinnosuke's feelings on that pretty well—). Frankly, he was one of the few that openly addressed whether or not Shinnosuke was actually okay, let alone that early on—because yeah, uh, Shinnosuke was not always okay (case in point, week 3: YEAH I'M FINE WHATEVER /promptly forms plan to break into a building with Jason out of frustration STILL FINE).
Which automatically meant NOPE NEVER DISCUSSING FEELINGS WITH BARNHAM. Not that Shinnosuke ever intends on discussing feelings with anyone, but the fact that Barnham actually expressed concern put him squarely in NOPE territory anyway. Get your emotions away from him???
BUT YEAH AND THEN BARNHAM MURDERED HIM.
Shinnosuke learned very promptly about the caveat from Sara, and then deduced from that that Barnham killed him and then got it confirmed by Hal, so. Instinctively, he's kind of salty, because, well. Barnham murdered him, and he didn't even have the dignity to even identify himself.
In the long run, though, he's really just eh. He knows why Barnham did it, he's been surrounded by too much death and betrayal to actively hold ill will against something that impersonal, and he can even give Barnham kudos for being ruthless and pragmatic, because the ruthless and pragmatic part of Shinnosuke approves.
(He does still kind of think the "not talking" thing, when you think about it, is stupid—either he was going to die and learn from Xion that Barnham was a killer anyway, or he was going to survive and tell everyone, which would make Barnham the worst killer ever for failing to kill a blind dude when he had every single advantage and in that case tbh you deserve to be doxxed for being such a failure.)
But overall it's really just "okay so he's a guy who likes justice and eventually decided to be an idiot and kill everyone for their own good without telling anyone," and he's seen enough stories like that to just feel "whatever" about it. He doesn't hold a grudge, but he also has no real sympathy for Barnham either. You made your choices (just as he chose not to die so easily), so suck it up.
SORRY BARNHAM HE'S A JERK
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Okay, so Natalie was an awful teen, which meant that Shinnosuke automatically liked her, or his brand of like, anyway. Her being a snarky jerk meant that he was free to be one back (not that he never needs permission, but you know), and especially as bounty family happened—well, he wasn't entirely kidding when he said she was his "favourite" for never getting all friendship-y on him.
In that vein, he kind of recognized Natalie as being similar to him, in that they're both assholes who care but don't want to admit it, although Natalie is thankfully not as much of a dick as he is. She was also the only one who actually called him out on his self-deprecating tendencies, which pretty much cemented, for him, that she probably wasn't too different. It was a kind of a relief, since to him, it meant that he and Natalie could just snark at each other and he'd never have to worry about it getting emotional or mushy. She had other people for that, and he didn't have to worry that somehow, he'd end up on that list.
(Ironically, he was the one who ultimately sort of confided in her, while on the train—she was the first whom he'd explained at length what was going on back home, because at that point, he did want to tell someone as he didn't feel like he had anything left to lose.)
Enduring what she went through in the underground tunnels earned her some of his respect! He comes from an environment where he's used to people going mad or giving up from lesser things. So, knowing that Natalie probably didn't come from a violent background (at the very least, she couldn't throw a proper punch.....), thus likely wasn't exposed to those kinds of horrors regularly, and yet still held herself together was a testament as to her strength. That she was able to deal with his interrogation of sorts (even if she understandably got huffy at him at first) was a bonus too, and he appreciated that she did answer his questions. It told him that she was someone who could put aside emotions in favour of logic, and that's always something he can get behind. And again, her being kind of a jerk herself meant that he wasn't too concerned about pushing her—he didn't feel that she was that fragile.
It was why he then told her what Hal told him, re: his employers and whatnot. While he didn't feel super guilty, he realized that he was kind of mean in forcing that info out of her, so passing on the info from Hal was him trying to pay it back.
She also went and killed Hannibal, which was also "well, kudos to you for going through with it." Sorry that it got you brutally murdered afterwards, Natalie! But really, he knows that killing someone isn't always easy, let alone someone you might've cared about, so that she did it to help everyone else even knowing that she would die from it—that's something he respects as well. Hopefully, Percy and the others will be able to play therapist after the game.
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Ultimately, it has a lot to do with what they have in common, which is being a dumb teen. In a way, Jason brought out a sense of normalcy from Shinnosuke. He didn't make Shinnosuke feel overly awkward (except for those moments where he worried about him, ewww), but he also wasn't quite trollbait/someone who disliked Shinnosuke from the start. Shinnosuke could just snark with him as a teenage boy, and there was a weird sense of camaraderie there that Shinnosuke didn't get, because the entire concept of being a normal teenager is so foreign to him at this point.
For a given definition of "normal", anyway, given that normal teens don't go around breaking into post offices??? Shinnosuke approached Jason with the idea mainly because of Jason's adventures with the clinic, tbh. He figured he had a good enough read on Jason's personality to assume that, like him, Jason was frustrated and would be willing to use that frustration for something potentially stupid. And hey, he was right!
Though he also had a general sense of respect for Jason, to a degree—Jason held himself well enough during trials and the like and didn't appear to be fragile, so Shinnosuke also figured that he was reliable in general. (He also thought that Jason was competent enough to potentially have a role and be hiding it, even if he turned out to be wrong...)
... He did feel pretty bad, though, since Jason ended up losing his tongue and shooting someone that was probably important to him (even if Shinnosuke avoided the latter topic because he too did not want to talk about... that...). He blames himself for that, though again, he chose never to talk about it because he defined his and Jason's relationship as one where they just sassed at each other and whatnot, so he wasn't going to make things awkward with feelings.
Except, you know, Jason then expressed actual feelings like concern. Stop!?!?!
It's also for the best that Shinnosuke has no idea that Jason threw a bit of a hissy fit at Noct over the idea of replacing him with Barnham, because oh god what you weren't supposed to care, Jason—
Anyway yes it's easier to pretend that Jason lacks any sort of emotion towards him because then he, too, can pretend that he has none.
Even if doing dumb things with Jason at bounty meetings like their breakup was some of the most fun Shinnosuke's had in Whole Ass and a good chunk of his entire life tbh, and the notion of "fun" is also one that's very bizarre to him, so.
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Okay, so unsurprisingly, Shinnosuke's first impression of Milla was basically ~shounen goody-two-shoes~, though it didn't take long for him to amend that impression—to ~somewhat more mature than usual shounen goody-two-shoes~. Shinnosuke has an automatic disdain for people who talk about working with others, etc., even if Milla won some points by admitting that she didn't expect it to happen.
For the most part, he was waiting to see Milla's idealism break or for Milla to die, because that's generally what happens to people who try and act heroic. He wasn't necessarily looking forward to it, since Milla was a calm and competent presence at trials and they needed all the help they could get tbh, but he was cynical enough not to hope for anything else.
Eeeeexcept it never happened! There was no real moment where Shinnosuke realized that Milla wasn't going to break, just a gradual acceptance when every week he saw that Milla was as strong as ever. Again, he was glad if it meant Milla could keep working during trials, but a part of him was also admittedly envious—Milla was doing something he never could. He shut out all of his idealism so that he could cope and survive, and so while he didn't dwell on it, Milla was sometimes a slap in the face as a reminder of how weak he was at heart. If Milla could do it, then why was he unable to? And so on and so forth.
The Bounty reveal was when things started to change. Sorry not sorry for being difficult about it—Shinnosuke figured that she and Noct knew for sure from the Sheriff, meaning they had nothing to lose while he did if they were lying, so. Milla didn't come as a surprise, since he suspected that either she or Sara was the one woman among the Bounty group, and it was nice to be proven right.
... He hadn't expected her to get all friendly with him, though???? He'd expected business from the Bounty meetings, especially as someone only brought in because the Sheriff gave them his name, and instead he got friendship, which was Awkward. It didn't help that Milla didn't rise to his teasing, meaning that there was nothing he could do to push her away???
The timing, what with Yuna's death, didn't help. Milla had other friends, so he couldn't understand why she would seek him out, why she'd want to know how he was dealing with it, or why she'd want to try and understand him. His discomfort was made worse by the fact that she did seem to understand him—a creeping discomfort about her that'd been building for the last few weeks. Shinnosuke prefers being hard to read or outright misunderstood, so he doesn't know how to handle someone who actually knows how he thinks or feels.
AND THEN HE DIED AND WAS FREE but only for a couple of days. In a sense, she was one of the people he was counting on most, as he couldn't do anything anymore. By the end of that week's trial, among the people he had any kind of bond with and trusted (eww), she and Noct were just about the only ones whom he felt would pull through no matter what (as he was worried about Percy and Jason's emotional states). Not that any of it mattered in the end, but eh. He also really could've done without that letter!!! Especially since it was accurate, damn it.
He's still not entirely sure of what to think about her, especially since a lot of the traits that he respects/appreciates about her (her calmness and shamelessness, for starters) are also the ones that make him go AGGGH, NEED TO FLEE NOW when used against him. She also managed to surpass his initial expectations, so kudos to her.
Also, she really was the mom.
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HONESTLY she was a certain sort of shounen that Shinnosuke couldn't help but like, as much as he'd deny it to himself (except he really couldn't on Week 2 when he asked to kill her if she ever refused to be a Bandit, thanks for not refusing, Sei!!). And he knew it was stupid, because Sei was reckless and idealistic and all the things that would inevitably get her killed, and he was... unfortunately proven right...
Anyway. Until that point, Sei was his primary source of entertainment, because she rose to the bait beautifully each and every time (which sort of screwed him over because that was part of what endeared her to him, but). Awkwardly, he was also reminded each and every time that she didn't really hate him. Because of his role as Bounty, he died inside every time she defended him??? STOP IT, SEI... even if she turned out to be completely right, since he never did kill anyone to the very end.
As is usually the case with shounen types, he was waiting for her to break, especially as it became clear that, for all of her efforts, some of it was pointless (e.g. alibi checking). That said, as much as he went ugggh, why am I doing this inside, he also wanted to delay it for as long as possible. If it weren't completely obvious by now, he was totally the one who approached Xion and fixed her relationship with Sei after their fight, since even if Xion and Sei's argument should've been "funny" and affirmed his beliefs, he didn't really want to see things be tense between the two of them. Despite the fact that honestly, he knew Sei wasn't going to make it to the end in one piece, he did want things to go as well as they could for her.
AND THEN SEI DISAPPEARED INTO THE MINES and Shinnosuke was torn between giving up on her to spare himself more pain and... not giving up on her—the latter won out, since tbh if Sei hadn't shown up on Friday, Shinnosuke would've gone looking for her that night. Because yeah, he cared... a lot... even if he had to cover it up by teasing the hell out of her even after that.
Her death came as a major blow, even though, again, he'd seen it coming since forever, and leave it to Sei to die for dumb reasons. It was one of those times where he just shut down and let himself focus on other things, but it was hard for him—Sei's death was the first one in this place of someone he genuinely cared about. He didn't know how to handle his grief—or how to juggle Xion's on top of it—and when Yuna tried to confront him about it, Shinnosuke resorted to pretending not to care and tried to convince himself that you know what, Sei probably hated him anyway, so whatever!! (He knew this was utter bullshit.)
... The fact that he went around carrying her swords afterwards, even if part of it was for pragmatic reasons (free weapon!!), also probably speaks for itself. Why'd you have to die, Sei. :(
It didn't help when he learned that Sei had been a Bandit. Honestly, he didn't judge her at all for it, because he gets it, whatever. It was realizing that she'd almost definitely been a Bandit during Week 4 and what that entailed, since that meant she'd chosen not to go after him when he was in the stocks. Another awkward acceptance that ah, right, Sei cared about him maybe...
SEI, WHY. WHY DID YOU HAVE TO [INSERT EVERY SINGLE THING SEI EVER DID].
But anyway, now that everything's done and they're going home, he's glad that she got her leg back, and he hopes that she can return to the people she loves and have a relatively happy (sort of) life.
He also still has no idea that she's a girl, oops.
(Fun fact: after realizing that Xion had a crush on him, he briefly tried to get Xion crushing on Sei instead.)
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But learning that Higekiri had done what he did for his brother (or more specifically, Ima but close enough)—yeah, as a fellow big brother, he empathized with that, however vague it was. He felt a bit of a connection there, but it should've been no big deal since Higekiri was going to die anyway and that would be the end of it (which is why he even admitted to having a sister to begin with; he's nicer if the person is about to die).
Eeeeeeexcept then Higekiri sent him letters from the dead and Shinnosuke had to go "mmmmm I don't think that was the end of it." Higekiri's letters were super awkward because he was being friendly and worst of all, other people had to read these for Shinnosuke??? And he had to explain why Higekiri seemed to like him????? Ugh.
And thus Higekiri became forever associated with awkwardness.
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Because Shinnosuke's a little shit, he was a lot more chill about Ash's general existence than some others were, which is why he never got on Ash's case during trials. Actually, it kind of helped—next to people like Ash, Shinnosuke looked perfectly innocent, which he was worried about. (THANK GOD ASH WASN'T A BOUNTY.) Really, as long as Ash never actually went after him or anyone he cared about, he was just sort of that funny robot who made a spectacle in during trials, trash-talked humans a lot, and killed the Sheriff's cat.
He had to start worrying about Ash more as they headed into endgame, and before they (besides Barnham) knew that EVERYONE HAD TO DIE. He and the other Bounties and co. were aiming for the solution where no one wanted to kill one another, which meant that after Hannibal and Will, Ash was a major concern. That said, Shinnosuke did feel that Ash could come around, because he recognized that Ash acted in self-interest, rather than 100% crazy, which meant that they could negotiate with them. It ended up not mattering at all, but he was hoping that Noct and the nonhuman squad could win him over.
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i can't find the plurk where i originally threatened to make a collage out of you yelling at me for yuna being pure but i had those gagtags saved so i was Ready
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but okay
Shinnosuke was quick to make a snap judgment on Yuna: dumb, altruistic idealist who was going to get herself manipulated and/or killed. And here, it's important to understand how Shinnosuke feels about those types in general. He's seen enough to know that it doesn't end well—people like those are just not meant to survive, because their kindness will do them in. And because they die, they don't achieve anything. Worst of all, because they were such good people and won over others' hearts, they leave behind the greatest void when they're gone.
Unfortunately, he's also self-aware to realize that that applies to him as well—people like Yuna charm him the most, and so it was all the more terrifying. He knew it wasn't going to end well, and he tried to justify it with WELL SHE KEEPS PEOPLE'S SPIRITS UP SO THERE'S PRAGMATIC INTEREST IN KEEPING HER IDEALISTIC, he really knew that at the end of the day, he cared about her, plain and simple. And that, well, he would come to regret it. Although he never quite realized it, for all that he spoke about others needing her, he might've the one who needed her the most, in the end.
So he tried to push her away, tried to be an asshole who would only troll her so that she'd see there was no reason to hang around him. He had some hopes after their first meeting after Yuna was smart enough to go "Iiiiii should leave" except... it didn't work after that... He came to realize that Yuna was infallibly optimistic and would not leave him alone for reasons he couldn't fathom, but he held onto his futile hope that maybe he could get her to hate him???? His only dream, crushed... but yeah, sadly Yuna wasn't as fragile as Xion (not that it even worked on Xion either) and deep down, Shinnosuke knew that he didn't really want to let go of Yuna.
Adding onto his reflexive STAY AWAY attitude was knowing that he was a Bounty—if Yuna refused to be a Bandit, then he would have to kill her (which was admittedly his fault, for making that request, but he really did not want Yuna to die painfully, so!!). His role also exacerbated his view of himself that he was a horrible person—even if ironically his role was why he never had to kill a single person in the game—and so he hated it every time Yuna tried to suggest he was actually a good guy. He couldn't bring himself to believe it, so she made him feel guilty as hell without even trying.
Being put in the stocks made him go SHIT for a number of reasons, one of which was knowing that Yuna was going to camp out there, damn it. Even though he knew he wasn't getting rid of her, he was honestly pretty scared that something would happen to her, and it would be his fault (thanks for not walking into Damian's trap, because he felt bad about not being able to warn her...). AND THEN SHE KEPT TALKING ABOUT FRIENDSHIP AGGGGGGH AND
okay the other thing to know is that at his current canon point, Shinnosuke is actually contemplating having a change of heart, which is why he asked Yuna what he did that night. A part of him genuinely wanted to try and understand her viewpoint, even as another part of him was going nooooo, that's dumb. And in spite of how much he trashtalks idealism, he's actually kind of envious, because he secretly admires being able to live with that kind of strength. He couldn't do it—he withdrew into his shell in part because he didn't want to be hurt.
But yeah, she kept talking about believing in him, and he started to break down thanks to the guilt from his role, because it reminded him how much he'd hate it if he was ever called to do his job. He'd hate disappointing Yuna by not being the person she thought he was. Perhaps worse, he knew that she wouldn't really be disappointed and that she'd still think well of him, and he didn't know how to feel about that. As someone with a very low opinion of himself, down to offhandedly believing that he doesn't even deserve to live, the amount of faith Yuna has in him is beyond his comprehension.
Still, at the end of it, Yuna might've been the first person here that he acknowledged as his friend.
... Not that this stopped him from going UGGGH WHY every time she hung around him, night of Sei's death included. For once, Shinnosuke contemplated the merits of friendship even if only for the memories, rather than evaluating friendship along the lines of, "Well, your friends inevitably die and that hurts, so better not to have any friends to begin with!!"
AND THEN
YUNA
DIED
Which... yeah, that hurt a lot. He knew it was coming since it was the first week, and heck, even in the recent Bounty meetings, they'd been discussing how the Sheriff wanted Yuna dead, so it was so obviously coming. So, he hated himself all the more for grieving, because if he expected it, then he shouldn't feel anything over it, right? The kind always die (and it was so, so unfair that someone like Yuna was dead but he was still alive), and that was why he didn't want to be kind.
Her death, in his mind, kind of invalidated everything she'd ever said, and he was sorely tempted to go back into his shell that she'd been coaxing him out of. His grief was a reminder of why he hadn't wanted friends to begin with, and now, there wasn't Yuna to tell him to hold onto his memories, that it was going to be okay.
(THAT BOOKMARK HURT, THOUGH. THANKS, YUNA.)
Thankfully, by that point, he had the other Bounties and co. to help ground him, up until he himself kicked the bucket. Being dead helped to tear down some of his walls, in that it was over for him, so this was when he had to evaluate how he'd done things, and whether or not they mattered. In the end, he concluded they hadn't—and he became all the more grateful for Yuna then, for being there for him.
And again, he felt that her idealism, the fact that she'd mattered to so many people while alive, etc. was worth something. In his eyes, she'd left a meaningful impact, even if it was one also filled with grief; meanwhile, what had he left behind? But he really did believe that Yuna had accomplished something, however abstract, and he didn't want her feeling otherwise.
Because honestly he just wants Yuna to be happy and confident and idealistic forever and oh god he has to go and vomit now, these feelings are gross and mushy what have you done to him
HE NEEDS TO FLEE NOW
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And like that, for a while, things were "safe"—Percy's likely perception of him was one he was cool about. Percy seemed to see him as reasonably competent, so Shinnosuke knew that what he said would be taken seriously, was suspicious of him (which was good, because everyone should maintain a healthy dose of suspicion) but not outright suspecting Shinnosuke of anything, and didn't think he was ~secretly a nice guy~ or anything.
In turn, Shinnosuke saw Percy as someone who was helpful at trials—helpful to the point that he probably wasn't trying to manipulate the rest of them, as he was asking a few too many questions for that, which is why Shinnosuke chose to "trust" him that one time—and while a disgustingly good guy, Percy seemed capable of handling some level of douchiness from him.
And then yeah, things started to change with the Bounty meetings. By the time that Saturday of that week rolled along, Shinnosuke was at an emotional low, since out of the three people he cared about most in the game, two of them just died and one of them was now possibly the enemy. Knowing that Percy was one of the only people he could trust to any degree (especially after their conversation earlier, where Percy forced him to acknowledge that), he ended up breaking down a little in front of him—because as much as he hated it, Percy was dead-on with his perception of Shinnosuke.
He was lonely and tired of being a paranoid recluse, so yes, he really did want to trust the rest of the group, and he wouldn't have betrayed them. In some ways, Shinnosuke hated it: that Percy was extending his hand towards him. Percy read into a side of him that he prefers to pretend doesn't exist, and it scared him to have to acknowledge it. (At the same time, it made him more honest around Percy, since there was less of a point in hiding anything.)
He finally started accepting what Percy said.......... when he died, at which point he knew he would have to leave everything up to them. Also, to be honest, he figured Percy wouldn't really be sad since he thought Percy was still mad about the whole Xion thing because he's bad at this—it took receiving Percy's letter before he went "ah I guess he cared..."
But yeah, he believed in Percy in a way that he isn't used to; he doesn't normally do this whole faith thing, after all. In the rest of the group too (... sans maybe Jason, Jason seemed kind of unstable by then), but frankly, he could see how Percy drew others to him, and the fact that he could see that made him want to die a little (again).
Learning that Percy was the other Coal Miner was a bit of a blow (albeit somewhat to be expected, since he spoke with Rin and therefore knew it wasn't her), not because it would've made any practical difference had Percy confessed, but because pragmatically, Shinnosuke feels that he can't trust anyone unless he knows their full story (in the context of how he's allying with them). Not that it necessarily made Percy any less trustworthy, especially at that point, but it was a reminder of how he was foolish for not doubting.
(Though tbh, he'd first thought it was Percy who was going around killing people in the last week, not Damian, so......)
Overall, though, it all worked out, and because he's pragmatic, Shinnosuke can also entirely understand why you wouldn't admit that kind of thing, so whatever. It's all still a bit weird, since Shinnosuke doesn't... know what to do with this side of him that's developing, and he's honestly still a little confused on certain aspects. So really, he's kind of looking to Percy for guidance, so to speak, because this is half Percy's fault anyway, how to friendship.
????????
also yeah look after Xion and the others, please
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He did have some sympathy for him, partly based on his age. Not that he thinks 14-year-olds are necessarily innocent, but he wasn't really thrilled about the idea of voting one off, so he was kind of relieved when Russell dodged a bullet that one trial he admitted to drugging himself. You can drug yourself to sleep, child, but please don't admit that to other people??
Learning that he'd burned Annabeth to death didn't really change his opinion of Russell. People kill, kids kill, eh it happens. Given Russell's attitude, it made sense. Again, he's probably seen kids get broken down from their pasts and become killers, so he sort of realized Russell probably had the capacity for it. It didn't come as a surprise to him, especially since Annabeth's death wasn't a "wow what is wrong with the killer???" death.
He was a little surprised that Russell Really Wanted a Pizza Party, and he really could've done without being dragged to one? Damn it, Russell. Go find someone else to bother in the afterlife.......