Shinnosuke was quick to make a snap judgment on Yuna: dumb, altruistic idealist who was going to get herself manipulated and/or killed. And here, it's important to understand how Shinnosuke feels about those types in general. He's seen enough to know that it doesn't end well—people like those are just not meant to survive, because their kindness will do them in. And because they die, they don't achieve anything. Worst of all, because they were such good people and won over others' hearts, they leave behind the greatest void when they're gone.
Unfortunately, he's also self-aware to realize that that applies to him as well—people like Yuna charm him the most, and so it was all the more terrifying. He knew it wasn't going to end well, and he tried to justify it with WELL SHE KEEPS PEOPLE'S SPIRITS UP SO THERE'S PRAGMATIC INTEREST IN KEEPING HER IDEALISTIC, he really knew that at the end of the day, he cared about her, plain and simple. And that, well, he would come to regret it. Although he never quite realized it, for all that he spoke about others needing her, he might've the one who needed her the most, in the end.
So he tried to push her away, tried to be an asshole who would only troll her so that she'd see there was no reason to hang around him. He had some hopes after their first meeting after Yuna was smart enough to go "Iiiiii should leave" except... it didn't work after that... He came to realize that Yuna was infallibly optimistic and would not leave him alone for reasons he couldn't fathom, but he held onto his futile hope that maybe he could get her to hate him???? His only dream, crushed... but yeah, sadly Yuna wasn't as fragile as Xion (not that it even worked on Xion either) and deep down, Shinnosuke knew that he didn't really want to let go of Yuna.
Adding onto his reflexive STAY AWAY attitude was knowing that he was a Bounty—if Yuna refused to be a Bandit, then he would have to kill her (which was admittedly his fault, for making that request, but he really did not want Yuna to die painfully, so!!). His role also exacerbated his view of himself that he was a horrible person—even if ironically his role was why he never had to kill a single person in the game—and so he hated it every time Yuna tried to suggest he was actually a good guy. He couldn't bring himself to believe it, so she made him feel guilty as hell without even trying.
Being put in the stocks made him go SHIT for a number of reasons, one of which was knowing that Yuna was going to camp out there, damn it. Even though he knew he wasn't getting rid of her, he was honestly pretty scared that something would happen to her, and it would be his fault (thanks for not walking into Damian's trap, because he felt bad about not being able to warn her...). AND THEN SHE KEPT TALKING ABOUT FRIENDSHIP AGGGGGGH AND
okay the other thing to know is that at his current canon point, Shinnosuke is actually contemplating having a change of heart, which is why he asked Yuna what he did that night. A part of him genuinely wanted to try and understand her viewpoint, even as another part of him was going nooooo, that's dumb. And in spite of how much he trashtalks idealism, he's actually kind of envious, because he secretly admires being able to live with that kind of strength. He couldn't do it—he withdrew into his shell in part because he didn't want to be hurt.
But yeah, she kept talking about believing in him, and he started to break down thanks to the guilt from his role, because it reminded him how much he'd hate it if he was ever called to do his job. He'd hate disappointing Yuna by not being the person she thought he was. Perhaps worse, he knew that she wouldn't really be disappointed and that she'd still think well of him, and he didn't know how to feel about that. As someone with a very low opinion of himself, down to offhandedly believing that he doesn't even deserve to live, the amount of faith Yuna has in him is beyond his comprehension.
Still, at the end of it, Yuna might've been the first person here that he acknowledged as his friend.
... Not that this stopped him from going UGGGH WHY every time she hung around him, night of Sei's death included. For once, Shinnosuke contemplated the merits of friendship even if only for the memories, rather than evaluating friendship along the lines of, "Well, your friends inevitably die and that hurts, so better not to have any friends to begin with!!"
AND THEN
YUNA
DIED
Which... yeah, that hurt a lot. He knew it was coming since it was the first week, and heck, even in the recent Bounty meetings, they'd been discussing how the Sheriff wanted Yuna dead, so it was so obviously coming. So, he hated himself all the more for grieving, because if he expected it, then he shouldn't feel anything over it, right? The kind always die (and it was so, so unfair that someone like Yuna was dead but he was still alive), and that was why he didn't want to be kind.
Her death, in his mind, kind of invalidated everything she'd ever said, and he was sorely tempted to go back into his shell that she'd been coaxing him out of. His grief was a reminder of why he hadn't wanted friends to begin with, and now, there wasn't Yuna to tell him to hold onto his memories, that it was going to be okay.
(THAT BOOKMARK HURT, THOUGH. THANKS, YUNA.)
Thankfully, by that point, he had the other Bounties and co. to help ground him, up until he himself kicked the bucket. Being dead helped to tear down some of his walls, in that it was over for him, so this was when he had to evaluate how he'd done things, and whether or not they mattered. In the end, he concluded they hadn't—and he became all the more grateful for Yuna then, for being there for him.
And again, he felt that her idealism, the fact that she'd mattered to so many people while alive, etc. was worth something. In his eyes, she'd left a meaningful impact, even if it was one also filled with grief; meanwhile, what had he left behind? But he really did believe that Yuna had accomplished something, however abstract, and he didn't want her feeling otherwise.
Because honestly he just wants Yuna to be happy and confident and idealistic forever and oh god he has to go and vomit now, these feelings are gross and mushy what have you done to him
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but okay
Shinnosuke was quick to make a snap judgment on Yuna: dumb, altruistic idealist who was going to get herself manipulated and/or killed. And here, it's important to understand how Shinnosuke feels about those types in general. He's seen enough to know that it doesn't end well—people like those are just not meant to survive, because their kindness will do them in. And because they die, they don't achieve anything. Worst of all, because they were such good people and won over others' hearts, they leave behind the greatest void when they're gone.
Unfortunately, he's also self-aware to realize that that applies to him as well—people like Yuna charm him the most, and so it was all the more terrifying. He knew it wasn't going to end well, and he tried to justify it with WELL SHE KEEPS PEOPLE'S SPIRITS UP SO THERE'S PRAGMATIC INTEREST IN KEEPING HER IDEALISTIC, he really knew that at the end of the day, he cared about her, plain and simple. And that, well, he would come to regret it. Although he never quite realized it, for all that he spoke about others needing her, he might've the one who needed her the most, in the end.
So he tried to push her away, tried to be an asshole who would only troll her so that she'd see there was no reason to hang around him. He had some hopes after their first meeting after Yuna was smart enough to go "Iiiiii should leave" except... it didn't work after that... He came to realize that Yuna was infallibly optimistic and would not leave him alone for reasons he couldn't fathom, but he held onto his futile hope that maybe he could get her to hate him???? His only dream, crushed... but yeah, sadly Yuna wasn't as fragile as Xion (not that it even worked on Xion either) and deep down, Shinnosuke knew that he didn't really want to let go of Yuna.
Adding onto his reflexive STAY AWAY attitude was knowing that he was a Bounty—if Yuna refused to be a Bandit, then he would have to kill her (which was admittedly his fault, for making that request, but he really did not want Yuna to die painfully, so!!). His role also exacerbated his view of himself that he was a horrible person—even if ironically his role was why he never had to kill a single person in the game—and so he hated it every time Yuna tried to suggest he was actually a good guy. He couldn't bring himself to believe it, so she made him feel guilty as hell without even trying.
Being put in the stocks made him go SHIT for a number of reasons, one of which was knowing that Yuna was going to camp out there, damn it. Even though he knew he wasn't getting rid of her, he was honestly pretty scared that something would happen to her, and it would be his fault (thanks for not walking into Damian's trap, because he felt bad about not being able to warn her...). AND THEN SHE KEPT TALKING ABOUT FRIENDSHIP AGGGGGGH AND
okay the other thing to know is that at his current canon point, Shinnosuke is actually contemplating having a change of heart, which is why he asked Yuna what he did that night. A part of him genuinely wanted to try and understand her viewpoint, even as another part of him was going nooooo, that's dumb. And in spite of how much he trashtalks idealism, he's actually kind of envious, because he secretly admires being able to live with that kind of strength. He couldn't do it—he withdrew into his shell in part because he didn't want to be hurt.
But yeah, she kept talking about believing in him, and he started to break down thanks to the guilt from his role, because it reminded him how much he'd hate it if he was ever called to do his job. He'd hate disappointing Yuna by not being the person she thought he was. Perhaps worse, he knew that she wouldn't really be disappointed and that she'd still think well of him, and he didn't know how to feel about that. As someone with a very low opinion of himself, down to offhandedly believing that he doesn't even deserve to live, the amount of faith Yuna has in him is beyond his comprehension.
Still, at the end of it, Yuna might've been the first person here that he acknowledged as his friend.
... Not that this stopped him from going UGGGH WHY every time she hung around him, night of Sei's death included. For once, Shinnosuke contemplated the merits of friendship even if only for the memories, rather than evaluating friendship along the lines of, "Well, your friends inevitably die and that hurts, so better not to have any friends to begin with!!"
AND THEN
YUNA
DIED
Which... yeah, that hurt a lot. He knew it was coming since it was the first week, and heck, even in the recent Bounty meetings, they'd been discussing how the Sheriff wanted Yuna dead, so it was so obviously coming. So, he hated himself all the more for grieving, because if he expected it, then he shouldn't feel anything over it, right? The kind always die (and it was so, so unfair that someone like Yuna was dead but he was still alive), and that was why he didn't want to be kind.
Her death, in his mind, kind of invalidated everything she'd ever said, and he was sorely tempted to go back into his shell that she'd been coaxing him out of. His grief was a reminder of why he hadn't wanted friends to begin with, and now, there wasn't Yuna to tell him to hold onto his memories, that it was going to be okay.
(THAT BOOKMARK HURT, THOUGH. THANKS, YUNA.)
Thankfully, by that point, he had the other Bounties and co. to help ground him, up until he himself kicked the bucket. Being dead helped to tear down some of his walls, in that it was over for him, so this was when he had to evaluate how he'd done things, and whether or not they mattered. In the end, he concluded they hadn't—and he became all the more grateful for Yuna then, for being there for him.
And again, he felt that her idealism, the fact that she'd mattered to so many people while alive, etc. was worth something. In his eyes, she'd left a meaningful impact, even if it was one also filled with grief; meanwhile, what had he left behind? But he really did believe that Yuna had accomplished something, however abstract, and he didn't want her feeling otherwise.
Because honestly he just wants Yuna to be happy and confident and idealistic forever and oh god he has to go and vomit now, these feelings are gross and mushy what have you done to him
HE NEEDS TO FLEE NOW