sheriffexe | [ WEEK SEVEN – KILL LOG (PAPIKA) ]

[Beforehand, Damian tells Papika he wants them to go out after curfew to keep watch around the train for any kind of murderous violence that may happen--and to check on what they can gather about the train itself.

What he doesn't tell her is that he's hidden both the hand-made tranquilizer dart and his newly acquired al Ghul katana under some slots beneath the train between the spaces of the wheels. He gets both out when she's busy inspecting the train on the other side.

When he comes back around, he has it in hand, but he's not merely carrying it.

He's holding it near his waist on the left, the exact height at which it would be drawn, though his right hand is clutched around the chicken feathered dart rather than the hilt of the sword.]

[ she had agreed to come simply because it's damian. if someone else had approached her to do this, papika would have been more hesitant. she would have declined the offer. but she kind of adores him, so when he brought up the idea, she had said yes.

and while some people may think she's dumb (FUCK YOU HAL), when damian wanders off and then reappears with a sword, warning bells start to ring in her head. she's never seen that sword in their room before? and it'd be one thing if he brought a weapon with him for protection, but also.... damian wyd??? ]

Where did you get that? [ it's asked in her usual airy tone, but the expression on her face is a little tighter than it had been beforehand. ]

The Sheriff. [At least he's both lies and trickery.] It's my grandfather's sword. He was known as the Demon's Head. He was an international terrorist.

[Since there's no way around what is going to happen, he wastes no time idly chatting:] This train is the method of returning home.

Unfortunately, the only way to get onboard is to die.

It's time for you to go home, Papika.

[ normally, she would ask about the whole international terrorist thing, except then damian just keeps talking. her mouth forms a small o in surprise, and for a few seconds all she can really do is stare at damian as she tries to come up with some sort of coherent reply ]

Uh. No?

[ good enough! ]

Resisting will only make it worse. [He shows her the dart in his hand.] You can allow me to sedate you beforehand. The chemical is fast-acting, less than a minute. You won't feel anything. It will make you sleep.

If you want to get on the train, this is what has to be done.

We were set up. There was never going to be anyone left alive. In order to leave, we all have to die.

What makes you say that? If you think this is the only way, I want to know all your reasons why.

[ she's not agreeing to it. papika is a fan of being not dead, it's pretty high on the list of things she enjoys doing. but she wants to know how he reached this conclusion before moving forward. ]

The Sheriff confirmed it. It's why the bodies were all here, the ones of us. It was a hint. It's why the dead kept giving us hints in their letters about dying, about death. The game was rigged. No one was supposed to live.

The last person left standing is still going to have to die. [His frown is hard.] Barnham is killing Ash and Caelum. I didn't want him to kill you, and I didn't want Jackson to have to do it either.

He will be the last one left alive--Jackson. He has the most merit. I'm leaving him mine when I die. I've already killed Maxwell and Todd.

After you, I will duel Barnham, and I will kill him.

We'll be on the train, and Jackson will hopefully have enough merit to ask for us to be sent home.

That's unfair.

[ everything is unfair, but then she elaborates further ] That you have to do all of this. You didn't even want to vote to execute anyone.

[ she almost wants to argue that there has to be another way, but... no. this genuinely makes sense. the sheriff already told them that they all had to die from this point on, even if he hadn't specified that the last survivor had to die too. ]

If I'm awake during it, that would count more, right? You'd get more merit for the kill?

It doesn't matter. Jackson has a great deal of merit regardless.

[What he's trying to say is he doesn't want to have to run Papika through while she's alive enough to stare into his soul in abject horror.

But... he'll do what he's gotta do.] Don't worry about Jackson, and don't worry about me. Remaining alive isn't an option, but you get to decide how you want to die.

So what do you want?

[ it's surreal, to be given this choice when just a few weeks earlier she had actually wanted to die. she can still feel that sensation, inside her, but that whole experience made her leave with think about life more in general. what it's like to be alive, and seeing everyone struggle to make sure they weren't another missing face in the town the next week. even if things do go as planned, and they're able to fix everything, this is still cruel. ]

I don't want to die. [ papika at least looks apologetic after saying that? she knows this has to be even harder for damian. ] Ah... how do plan on doing it?

[ she's looking at the katana now. ]

I know. [After dying once himself and, essentially, going to hell, Damian is well aware of what it feels like to not want to die either.] That's up to you.

[He extends the hand not holding the sword. The dart is small, peaked with chicken feathers from the ones at the homestead.] I requested an anesthetic to perhaps use against the killers if I found them.

There's some left. You'll go to sleep, but I'll be here with you, and when you wake up, you'll be with everyone else on the train.

[ she stares at the dart, biting her lip nervously as she thinks it over. she really does not want to do this, but neither does he. ]

I'm not sure about sleeping, but... What would be better for you?

This isn't about me. [His voice peaks a moment, and his fingers clutch against the dart before relaxing again. Calm down.

It's just something he doesn't want to do, not to Papika.] Forget me. Forget everyone else.

There's no other way that won't be less painful. [Sorry for the #bluntness.] I can either run you through with this sword or you can take the sedative.

But... it is about you! Because you're the one doing it, so you're just-- you're as involved in this as I am.

[ sorry for the #stubbornness. ]

All I have to do is die. But you're the one who has to do the work.

[what if papika never dies bc damian doesnt wanna and she is too stubborn]

Doing it isn't hard. Killing isn't difficult. Killing is easy. [Look, he knows. He. Knows.] Living is the toughest thing you can do.

[He shows her the dart again.] I'm going to use this. It's more humane than impaling you.

[Killing isn't ever humane, Damian! is what he can hear his father screaming in his mind.]

[ what if friday comes and they're still just arguing about this?? what if ]

I think living while knowing that you killed someone is pretty hard too.

[ but since he seems to actually have made a choice, she at leasts looks a little more relieved. ]

[Papika isn't wrong. The only thing worse than living is living knowing you've taken the same opportunity from someone else.] It's fine. You aren't going to die. You are going to go to the train.

You can fight me, and I can kill you, or you can come here and let me give you the anesthesia. That choice is yours, but I would suggest the sedation.

Um... I'm still dying, even if I come back. We all are.

[ again she... at least looks sorry for saying it. she's not even trying to reprimand damian for it, but just the game in general. it feels like they're taking away the maliciousness of this whole situation by saying that it's not a real death. she doesn't want todo that. ]

Can I give you a hug?

[It had been less he was trying to dodge the finality and seriousness of it and more he... had been trying to reassure her. That it wasn't death like they knew it necessarily. LOOK. HE'S BAD!! AT THIS!!! COMFORT THING!!]

...If you want.

If you want to stab me while I'm hugging you that's fine.

[ it's... hard to tell if she is joking or not. she's taller than him, so she'll kneel down just a little so she can be at a perfect hugging height before wrapping her arms around him. ]

You were the best roomie.

[Luckily, Damian isn't the type to just mindlessly stab.

As it had been with Jason, he takes the hug without hugging back himself because both hands are too full of death and suffering; however, the way he tips just a tad and doesn't struggle against the hug itself means more than anything.

And as he did with Jason, too, he hits her in the side of the back with the dart, enough to break away the ball inside plugging the needle. It'll be pretty quick and painless.

Sadly, it won't be like Jason completely. He had enough to kill Jason with nothing more, but Papika will only be unconscious. He's still going to have to kill her with his blade.] I thought you were an idiot at first. That you would get in the way.

But you were one of the better roommates I could have had. [He'll hold her by the elbow and bicep for when she feels like she may go down.] You'll go to sleep, and then you'll wake up on the train.

[ she had been expecting it, and yet she still blinks in surprise at the injection. if it had been someone else, she probably would have fought more. even now, she wants to continue to argue, but she said it herself. it's already hard enough for him.

and even if damian isn't your typical child, he's still, in the end, a child. papika doesn't want to make it worse for him. ]

I'm sorry I went to the cinema without telling you. I didn't want someone useful getting hurt.... [ she trails off feeling the drug kick in. it takes several for seconds for her to finish the thought. ] I am kind of stupid.

Forget it. [His voice is softer than he'd like it to be.] I wouldn't have told anyone either.

[Carefully, he eases an arm under hers and around her back so she won't tumble into the dirt when she's sedated.] It's over now. You'll be on the train with everyone else.

Jackson will send everyone home.

[ she's sort of just mumbling now, and at this point damian is definitely carrying more of her weight than she is. but there's at least one thing she says that's clear. ]

Bye bye, Damian. Love you. [ she really is fond of her now ex-roommate.

and after that, she's asleep. ]

[Initially, he thinks it's going to be simple. As simple as it always had been. He's going to wait until she's unconscious, and then he's going to raise the sword and run her through in one fell swoop and end it. Done. Easy.

But it isn't as easy as it use to be at all. It isn't running people through and forgetting. It's feeling her weight in his arm, hearing her voice, knowing she exists, alive, loves, wants, dreams, fears.

He puts her over his shoulder and takes her back to the beige horse with the skin pack that has the last two darts left. He gives Papika another injection so the dose is lethal enough to kill her.

It'll be fine. Like Jason.

She'll be asleep, and she'll be fine.]

[ WEEK SEVEN – KILL LOG (PAPIKA) ]

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papika wtf

>:(

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I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS??????????