So, you're dead. Shame, that.
But on the other hand, it's actually kind of nice.
When you "wake" in some odd version of it, you'll find yourself lying on a rather plush bed. It's cozy and warm and just soft enough to tempt anyone back into sleep. The room is equally nice, if small, and when you turn and open the curtains to look out the window, you will see... wait, is that the town?
It is, actually. The town is laid out quite simply across the window and no matter how many times you may bang or wave through the window, no one seems to notice you. If you're smart enough to give up the venture and leave the small bedroom, you will notice that, of course, you are on the train.
The train that, is actually pretty fancy.
Moving through it, past the sleeping cabins and through to the main carts, you will find a dining car with fine dishware and meals of all kinds made at a push of a button or a request given to the air. They'll appear, freshly made and ready to eat at the table of your choice with any drink you could want. There truly doesn't seem to be any limits when it comes to the luxury of the meal.
There is also a bathhouse car with private bathrooms and saunas to fit up to four. Even one rather large room containing a small pool/hot tub of sorts is available for just about anyone to take a dip. It's kind of outlandish, honestly.
Then the lounge car, with its library and plush armchairs and couches. A pool table, a darts board, even a small area dedicated to painting. There's a bar too, fully stocked and ready for anyone who needs a drink. All it would require is a request from the bartender who... looks surprisingly familiar?
The Sheriff is there, much cleaner cut than his counterpart outside of the train. He looks up mildly at any arrivals, giving them a nod of greeting before going back to organizing bottles or setting cigars out for a smoke. He doesn't seem to be surprised at all by anyone who appears. Just... ready to serve them, whatever they may wish.
It all sort of seems okay for a moment, until you realize you're just here to wait for the game to end. Awkward. |
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sheriffexe) wrote2017-01-13 11:14 am
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He's not surprised, he supposes. He always thought that anyone could die at any time. This might even be a twisted form of mercy for Xion—or is that arrogant of him? To assume that Xion might break if she lost him.
He doesn't know.
And so, even though a large part of him is too tired to put on airs, he does just that now.]
Geez, pipsqueak... you bit it too, huh?
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his eyes. They're not blindfolded anymore, and they look fine. He can see again, just like her leg has been fixed. He died. He absolutely... ]
Mr. Barnham killed me, [ she says without thinking. ] I always thought I might pay for being so reckless, though ... I didn't expect it to come from him. [ with some soft bitterness. but then she shakes her head, looking up at him imploringly ]
But you... Shinnosuke, they need you! What happened?
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... His sister needed him as well, and he let her down by dying. He knows very well that death can come for anyone, but... after spending so much of his life trying to survive, rejecting happiness and anything that could distract him—it hurts, in a hollow way he can't describe, that he so easily died because someone willed it.
But it's a befittingly unfair end for him, he supposes.]
Seems like that guy might've killed me too. Sorry.
[He's about to tell her what he's learned in this place if she doesn't already know, before he shuts his mouth. Not because she doesn't deserve to know this—and at this point, there's not a lot of risks left—but it's a reminder of how much he hasn't told her.
Before he gets to this... he should come clean, perhaps.]
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[ That's all, though. That one burst of disbelief, and then she just kind of.... deflates, bowing her head and pressing a hand to her face. She just seems ... very defeated, all of a sudden. ]
I wonder if he killed you after he killed me. I don't know ... what happened, after he drugged me. [ Glancing off to one side, her mouth twisting: ] I can't believe that happened twice.
[ She shakes her head, taking a moment to try and calm the maelstrom of emotions she feels before looking up at him again. ]
We'll just have to do what we can from here... though, I don't know what that will be.
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[Though the repeatedly part came from the fact that he wouldn't go down the first time, so.
He nods. That's the easy thing for him to focus on: moving towards his goal, no matter what. Death won't stop him either.]
I don't know about you, but I should have a fair bit of merit stored up, so I'll see if I can use that for anything.
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[ That's where she stops, because that's where it hits her. She didn't even process the words I should have a fair bit of merit stored up until she really had a second to think about it.
And once she figures it out, her mouth clicks shut.
It's a process, this series of realizations, and the process comes with all her emotions playing across her face. She's always worn her heart on her sleeve, after all. So what comes - shock, turning slowly into horror, turning quickly into embittered resignation - should be no surprise.
And when it's all done, she bursts out laughing. It's like she can't stop. However, it is not a happy sound. She and Shinnosuke have been through a lot, but she's probably never sounded quite this heartbroken. It's just, really ... one last stab right into whatever she has that passes for a heart. ]
I'm ... I'm so stupid, [ she chokes out, her shoulders still shaking with laughter as she ducks her head and presses a hand over half her face. ] I really get it now, why you guys never told me anything. Even if I could have helped, I would have messed everything up anyway by letting it all slip, one way or another. It turns out that I've always been pretty bad at hiding how I feel, huh?
[ Her smile is broad and sad and she doesn't look at him. ]
So, what was your role after all, and who did you kill?
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... And at this point, it's undeniable how much he cares for this girl, even though he'll probably never be able to return his feelings. He told Percy that he didn't know why he told her about Hannibal, but the truth is, he knows. At least now, he does.
Xion might not see it, since she's avoiding his face, but he smiles—likewise sadly, so perhaps not the smile she wanted, but still more genuine than most of his smiles.]
I really wish you hadn't made me promise that I was telling the truth. [...] Sorry. I'm a liar by nature, and I wasn't sure then if I could trust you.
I was a Bounty. And as hard as it may be to believe... I didn't kill a single person.
[Hypocritically, the one thing he can be glad for.]
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[ And she'd been desperately, deathly afraid, for weeks, of being the cause of Noctis and Shinnosuke's deaths. And instead it had happened like this.
Now she covers her face with both hands. She hurts. She's so tired of hurting. ]
I thought you'd lied to me, [ she ends up whispering, ] about not having a role. You weren't the only one. Dr. Lecter lied to me, too.
[ ... ]
Actually, that doesn't surprise me. [ Somewhat more levelly. ] Damian told me all about what he knew of the Bounties. He said none of the Bandits had ever refused.
[ ........ ]
Did you mean what you said, Shinnosuke? [ Her hands lower, and she wraps her arms tightly around herself instead. She still isn't looking at him. ] About not wanting to hurt me.
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Yes. I didn't start suspecting you of the Deputy role until sometime after that conversation on Thursday. Then I thought you were working for the Deputy—which would've made you my opponent.
[Which doesn't seem to have been the case, thankfully.]
Regardless, I knew that if it was you, you would be doing it with the good of all in mind. If I'd thought that you had malicious intentions, then... I would've done everything to crush you.
[...]
But you're an idiot who couldn't do that. In any case, I was worried that if you were working with the Deputy, or valued him more... than you valued me, then anything I said to you would've gone back to him. Though I get the feeling that he actually knew all along... but anyway, that's not the point.
[Screw Hannibal.]
I'll admit that I tried to use you, in that I probed you to see what you knew. [When she was grieving, after that mess of a trial last week.] I didn't clear you of suspicion until our conversation on Monday. So I'm sorry for that—I shouldn't have been the person you turned to for comfort.
[He never should've.]
I'm not a kind person, Xion. [...] But I'm glad you weren't my enemy, and as much as I wish that you'd just hated me from the start... I'm a coward who didn't have it in me to actively hurt you.
[It's more honest than he usually is. But when he's dead... even knowing that he might be revived no matter what, given his participation in the game so far, he's too tired to keep up the pretense.]
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And then she stays quiet for the whole thing. She's not sure she's ever heard him speak so much, at least all at once. It's sort of a bittersweet relief to get answers. ]
... for a long time ... I've been wondering if I really knew anyone who was part of this game.
[ Her gaze shifts off to one side, though only briefly. ] You know more than anyone I've never been around many people. I found everyone ... confusing, and hard to figure out. No matter how much I wanted to help, I kept feeling ... overwhelmed. There was so much to remember, so much to try and hide and not to do... I couldn't really keep up. [ Her eyes shut. ] Everyone kept telling me not to try so hard, and that there were other things I could do, instead.
[ A pause, and her eyes open again. She lifts her gaze to meet his. ]
Except for you. You were the only one who never really told me to stop trying. You just ... talked to me, like I was just as smart as you were. Like we really could work together. I believed that. Even when I was upset, or freaking out, it was like ... just talking to you could calm me down again. Being with you, I always felt ... like everything would be okay. I don't ... regret anything about always seeking you out like I did.
[ Saying it out loud seems to calm her, and the loop of her arms loosens until she finally lets them fall to her side. ]
I don't regret knowing you, Shinnosuke. What I said back then, about trusting you ... I still mean that.
[ It's both a little scary and a relief beyond words to say that and mean it. She wasn't sure if she would, even just a few moments ago. He hurt her, too --
but perhaps that was inevitable. No one was going to get through this game without pain. And what wrongs he has done ... were done for the right reason. ]
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He doesn't understand how Xion can continue to look at him and still see someone trustworthy—but he won't take it for granted. It's idiotic, and naive, and again, it's a relief. As much as he might want to deny that he, too, is victim to emotions—
In the end, he can't help the warm feeling spreading in his chest, knowing that Xion believes in him even now.
His own naivety scares him.]
... Hate to admit it, but you probably knew me better than I would've liked.
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[ For a long moment, she looks up at him, a held breath caught in her mouth as she wars with herself internally--
--but then she lets that breath go, reaches up, and mooshes his face between both her hands. ]
You really should try smiling for real sometime. You might not even look like a total dork!
[ This smile is gentle and warm as she lowers her hands. ] I really don't know if I have any merit saved up or not. But I can find out. We'll figure out some way to help them. We'll do everything we can, and then ... we'll have to hope they can finish the rest without us.
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Smiling's not exactly my thing.
[He's not sure if he really remembers how to smile "for real", after losing his sister.]
... Yeah. Looks like counting on them is all we can do now.
[It's still a strange sensation—believing in others—but it's not... entirely unpleasant, he supposes.]
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[ Her hands find his arms. Gentle touches. The way she used to when he was blind. He doesn't need her touch now to know that she's there. But somehow, it feels right, to do it.
He never did manage to push her away. She can't think about that too long, or her feelings tie themselves up in knots that she can't untangle again. ]
... so what now, anyway?
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... I'm thinking about that. [He doesn't know yet, and he hates it.] For now... we "live", I guess.
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To be fair, she never planned to tell him. There was, once, a time when she asked someone else if she should (that someone else turning out to be a rather unfortunate choice), but despite being encouraged to confess, it never felt like a good idea. Though she learned over the weeks that Shinnosuke was not as cold as he wanted to seem, she still knew there were limits, boundaries, unspoken. Confessing that she loved him felt very much like she'd be stepping right over those boundaries, and pushing him away was a risk she couldn't afford to take.
Even now. Even just now, when she'd tasted the words on her tongue, when there is no war left for them to wage. Even now when there is only the waiting, she won't take the chance that confessing her open secret will drive him away.
The open affection she shows him just feels like something right; like something they simply are, now. Maybe sometimes it's an indicator of her feelings. But never is it a hint that she might want something more. However she feels, "more" isn't her goal. What she has is enough, for her. ]
... live, without a purpose or a goal ...
[ she laughs abruptly. ]
What does that even mean?