wow i'm rereading this after writing it and this really got away from me. i should trim this down because most of it is probably redundant bullshit but i'm not gonna. i'm almost sorry
god okay so from the very start yuna was like completely set thinking that the best way to endure and get out of the whole murdergame kidnapping situation was going to be through camaraderie and staying together and taking care of each other, and that meant everybody and everybody meant shinnosuke, he was as stuck with her as anyone else, but he dug his personal friendship grave over the course of the tutorial case tbh. she naturally sees the best in everything and everyone but yuna's also really good at reading people, so even if he tried to be snippy and detached about it, yuna saw shinnosuke checking up on her and reminding her that people were depending on her and having enough faith to think she could live up to that, and that's when she realized and decided with absolute certainty that he was a good person and she went i am going to befriend this asshole if and until it kills me
and okay i'm taking a brief detour to talk about karin, yuna's other favorite shitty tsundere, who introduced herself to the rest of the hero club by telling them all they sucked and doing little else but calling yuna and all her friends names and yelling at them for days and the entire time yuna was just like "how can we be better friends with her though......" but karin was so focused on being the best magical girl and didn't feel like she was really a person past her ability to fight monsters so she didn't get why everyone was so buddy-buddy, the whole point of the hero club was supposed to be for fighting, so why did they bother with it after the fighting was done and why did they bother with her, so with shinnosuke yuna was just like, oh i've got this. i've played and won the shitty tsundere game before i have DEFINITELY got this
but yuna was sort of working with the impression that like, shinnosuke was a good person who wanted to do good but instead of doing that what he ended up doing was actively try to fuck up everything around him, so even though she didn't really want to go projecting another person's issues onto shinnosuke she had karin in mind when she decided her approach was just going to be to adamantly refuse to let him fuck up her attempts at friendship. he was someone who wanted to do good, something was getting in the way of that and instead he pushed people away and acted like a dick, but doing and being good is so hard without friends and a support system—so yuna decided she was going to put up with all his shit and fuss over him and care about him no matter what he threw at her because she really firmly believes everyone deserves the chance to be okay and be their best selves, so someone stubborn and friendly who's happiest helping was going to have to wade through all his fucking nonsense to help him get there. and she cared about him!!! so it wasn't an obligation for her, she really really wanted to be able to help him!!!! she loves this asshole
come week 4 she was prepared for a stocks sleepover no matter who was out there after the last person in the stocks got seT ON FUCKING FIRE but she was especially determined to protect shinnosuke because...he's an asshole...... he was a recently-injured blind asshole stuck in the stocks all night and she was having absolutely none of that?? coyote slayer is not a title she wears with pride but as much as she isn't a violent person, it's more important to her to keep people from getting senselessly hurt, so as bad a time as shooting coyotes to death was it really just mattered to her that he was safe
and she was so happy she finally got him to open up to her even just a little?!?! and shinnosuke got a little more from her, too; yuna isn't exactly cagey or secretive but she doesn't really want people to worry about her because if they think she's weak they won't let her support them? and she knows she's strong and stable enough to take care of others, but here especially she was constantly trying to find the line between being seen as strong enough for that while still being silly and friendly and approachable. but with shinnosuke she was willing to give a little more because she needed him to take her seriously so that all her intense fondness would be taken seriously, too; she never really talked about how she was ~sick with anyone else, and she didn't tell anyone else flat-out that this kind of situation where people were getting hurt and she was powerless to stop it was the absolute worst thing that could happen to her like she told shinnosuke, but she was willing to give him that in exchange for getting like, Actual Human Feelings out of him for once
but yuna was THRILLED she was getting him to talk to her and like, be a person with feelings at her and then she proceeded to go and get herself killed. oops!!! and she was so upset with herself for not fighting hard enough and for leaving everyone behind when she was supposed to be helping!! instead she didn't get anything done, she upset and worried her friends; she'd kept telling shinnosuke she'd work hard so he wouldn't have to worry about her and then fucked it up. just kind of picture her scrabbling constantly at the train window from the inside trying to catch shinnosuke's attention so she can tell him not to be sad because that was about where she was at with him that entire week before he kicked the bucket too
actually that's her most of the time i take it back
she really does feel like she should be apologizing to him for dying though, mostly for worrying and upsetting him and leaving him behind, but there also isn't any good way for her to do that without getting defended she's pretty sure, and she doesn't want to be defended for it!! even being told she doesn't have to apologize for it is too much for her because she absolutely has to apologize for dying SHE FUCKED UP!!! she apologized for failing to help and didn't believe for a second anything she did really made a difference, but as much as she didn't want to be told she hadn't completely screwed the pooch, it meant a lot to her for shinnosuke to tell her otherwise and that she'd done something of worth anyway, because for her, it meant that despite her failures, he still saw her as someone worth placing his faith in! and it's so important to her that her friends see her as someone they can rely on and goddamn it shinnosuke is her friend
anyway long story short she's writing this shithead a letter literally every single day, every single goddamn day and that's on top of how often she tries to call him and shit and i hope to god stupid interdimensional contact includes like shitty messenger apps so everyone just has to deal with an hour's worth of group chat logs that just go "yuna has added shinnosuke to the chat" "shinnosuke has left the chat" "yuna has added shinnosuke to the chat" "shinnosuke has left the chat" "yuna has added shinnosuke to the chat" "shinnosuke has left the chat" because she can't physically chase him down anymore so she's just going to have to harass the shit out of him through every venue available to her
she's not above doing the kicked puppy thing thinking he's ignoring her because he's gotten hurt or something instead of him just being an ass
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
no subject
all right, anyway,
wow i'm rereading this after writing it and this really got away from me. i should trim this down because most of it is probably redundant bullshit but i'm not gonna. i'm almost sorry
god okay so from the very start yuna was like completely set thinking that the best way to endure and get out of the whole murdergame kidnapping situation was going to be through camaraderie and staying together and taking care of each other, and that meant everybody and everybody meant shinnosuke, he was as stuck with her as anyone else, but he dug his personal friendship grave over the course of the tutorial case tbh. she naturally sees the best in everything and everyone but yuna's also really good at reading people, so even if he tried to be snippy and detached about it, yuna saw shinnosuke checking up on her and reminding her that people were depending on her and having enough faith to think she could live up to that, and that's when she realized and decided with absolute certainty that he was a good person and she went i am going to befriend this asshole if and until it kills me
and okay i'm taking a brief detour to talk about karin, yuna's other favorite shitty tsundere, who introduced herself to the rest of the hero club by telling them all they sucked and doing little else but calling yuna and all her friends names and yelling at them for days and the entire time yuna was just like "how can we be better friends with her though......" but karin was so focused on being the best magical girl and didn't feel like she was really a person past her ability to fight monsters so she didn't get why everyone was so buddy-buddy, the whole point of the hero club was supposed to be for fighting, so why did they bother with it after the fighting was done and why did they bother with her, so with shinnosuke yuna was just like, oh i've got this. i've played and won the shitty tsundere game before i have DEFINITELY got this
but yuna was sort of working with the impression that like, shinnosuke was a good person who wanted to do good but instead of doing that what he ended up doing was actively try to fuck up everything around him, so even though she didn't really want to go projecting another person's issues onto shinnosuke she had karin in mind when she decided her approach was just going to be to adamantly refuse to let him fuck up her attempts at friendship. he was someone who wanted to do good, something was getting in the way of that and instead he pushed people away and acted like a dick, but doing and being good is so hard without friends and a support system—so yuna decided she was going to put up with all his shit and fuss over him and care about him no matter what he threw at her because she really firmly believes everyone deserves the chance to be okay and be their best selves, so someone stubborn and friendly who's happiest helping was going to have to wade through all his fucking nonsense to help him get there. and she cared about him!!! so it wasn't an obligation for her, she really really wanted to be able to help him!!!! she loves this asshole
come week 4 she was prepared for a stocks sleepover no matter who was out there after the last person in the stocks got seT ON FUCKING FIRE but she was especially determined to protect shinnosuke because...he's an asshole...... he was a recently-injured blind asshole stuck in the stocks all night and she was having absolutely none of that?? coyote slayer is not a title she wears with pride but as much as she isn't a violent person, it's more important to her to keep people from getting senselessly hurt, so as bad a time as shooting coyotes to death was it really just mattered to her that he was safe
and she was so happy she finally got him to open up to her even just a little?!?! and shinnosuke got a little more from her, too; yuna isn't exactly cagey or secretive but she doesn't really want people to worry about her because if they think she's weak they won't let her support them? and she knows she's strong and stable enough to take care of others, but here especially she was constantly trying to find the line between being seen as strong enough for that while still being silly and friendly and approachable. but with shinnosuke she was willing to give a little more because she needed him to take her seriously so that all her intense fondness would be taken seriously, too; she never really talked about how she was ~sick with anyone else, and she didn't tell anyone else flat-out that this kind of situation where people were getting hurt and she was powerless to stop it was the absolute worst thing that could happen to her like she told shinnosuke, but she was willing to give him that in exchange for getting like, Actual Human Feelings out of him for once
but yuna was THRILLED she was getting him to talk to her and like, be a person with feelings at her and then she proceeded to go and get herself killed. oops!!! and she was so upset with herself for not fighting hard enough and for leaving everyone behind when she was supposed to be helping!! instead she didn't get anything done, she upset and worried her friends; she'd kept telling shinnosuke she'd work hard so he wouldn't have to worry about her and then fucked it up. just kind of picture her scrabbling constantly at the train window from the inside trying to catch shinnosuke's attention so she can tell him not to be sad because that was about where she was at with him that entire week before he kicked the bucket too
actually that's her most of the time i take it back
she really does feel like she should be apologizing to him for dying though, mostly for worrying and upsetting him and leaving him behind, but there also isn't any good way for her to do that without getting defended she's pretty sure, and she doesn't want to be defended for it!! even being told she doesn't have to apologize for it is too much for her because she absolutely has to apologize for dying SHE FUCKED UP!!! she apologized for failing to help and didn't believe for a second anything she did really made a difference, but as much as she didn't want to be told she hadn't completely screwed the pooch, it meant a lot to her for shinnosuke to tell her otherwise and that she'd done something of worth anyway, because for her, it meant that despite her failures, he still saw her as someone worth placing his faith in! and it's so important to her that her friends see her as someone they can rely on and goddamn it shinnosuke is her friend
anyway long story short she's writing this shithead a letter literally every single day, every single goddamn day and that's on top of how often she tries to call him and shit and i hope to god stupid interdimensional contact includes like shitty messenger apps so everyone just has to deal with an hour's worth of group chat logs that just go "yuna has added shinnosuke to the chat" "shinnosuke has left the chat" "yuna has added shinnosuke to the chat" "shinnosuke has left the chat" "yuna has added shinnosuke to the chat" "shinnosuke has left the chat" because she can't physically chase him down anymore so she's just going to have to harass the shit out of him through every venue available to her
she's not above doing the kicked puppy thing thinking he's ignoring her because he's gotten hurt or something instead of him just being an ass
she loves him
no subject
no subject